Ok fellas time to contribute. But first a bit of background so we understand what I'm working with. I'm a professional student in my mid 20s, just got out of a 6 year relationship that I had been in, with some off and on, since freshman year in college. Nothing messy or dramatic spurring me to this subreddit, just long distance sucks. In fact I did a lot of my personal development from shy nerd to gregarious nerd within the parameters of this relationship. In any case, I gotta get back into it sometime, might as well be now.

The report: On a sunny (for Seattle) afternoon I was sitting on the bus, heading back to my school after a meeting downtown. I'd had an internship interview that morning so I was wearing my best suit and tie. The interview had gone well, and I was also pretty stoked from the meeting planning a legislative campaign to end the death penalty. All in all an excellent afternoon, and it probably showed.

Sitting on the bus with an empty seat next to me, an Asian girl walks on, looks at me briefly, and asks if she can sit down. I don't have much experience using the scale here, but I'd say HB8; very pretty face and nice body. She sits down and introduces herself, and we exchange pleasantries. Now I'm not used to people randomly introducing themselves on public transportation, though I try to chat up people who seem receptive whenever possible. I'm so thrown by this I almost let the interaction die right there, but then I remember 1) she's hot and 2) I'm single.

note: she later told me that because she is shy, she only sits next to people she thinks look nice or who she'll be comfortable with. I'm no expert, but I think this illustrates that first impressions are huge, and they happen before you ever open your mouth. I attribute this interaction solely to my good attitude and dress.

We mostly talk about her, with me asking question about her major and future career aspirations and dreams. Social kino on the shoulders and arms throughout. We get of the bus and she tells me she's going to the library. I suddenly remember that I too have to pick up books from the library. This is perfect because I actually do need to pick up some books, and there's this really cool cafe on the way there.

As we walk and talk I kino a bit more on the small of her back, but not much more after this. When we pass the cafe I point it out and talk up how great it is. When we near the library a couple minutes later, I tell her we should grab some food at the cafe sometime when she's on campus (she commutes), and to facilitate said food grabbing we should exchange numbers. Now I was expecting this to be some time in the indeterminate future, but after I get her number she suggests we get lunch right then! Well hellz yeah! We split up while I get my book, and when we reconvene (easy since we have each other's number) we head to the cafe.

This whole time the conversation has been mostly on her, though I have shared when prompted; like when she asks what my ethnicity is (Chinese). This gives us some common ground and moves the conversation forward comfortably.

We each get our food (paid separately) and sit down. We're sitting on adjacent sides of a small square table, but even so it's kinda awkward to kino. Plus I was really hungry and kind of intent on my sandwich. At one point she got out her computer to show me a project, which necessitated leaning in to see. In retrospect I should have capitalized on this, but didn't.

Anyways, part way into our lunch she drops the boyfriend bomb. They've been together since high school (she's now a senior) and it sounds pretty serious. However, she complains that his department is housed on a far part of campus which is 'hard.'

Having just gotten out of a trans-state long distance relationship I find this absurd. But when I told a female friend about this she concluded the fact that HB8 complained about it to me means she wants to break up. Thoughts?

Anyhow, I can feel things going stale, mostly because I can't wolf down my sandwich and hold charming conversation at the same time. I tell her I have to go and wish her good luck on her project after walking her out of the cafe. Probably should have gone for a hug or something, but oh well. A few hours later I text her telling her I had a good time and state that we should get together again. She writes back but is silent on meeting again.

Reflections: I don't really plan on pursuing this any further because of the boyfriend, so I saw this as a way to get my feet wet again. It's just my own ethics, but I don't want to be an asshole, and if she wants to break up with her boyfriend she should do it for her own reasons. But maybe it was all a big shit test.

I think my kino was pretty good at first, especially given that she's a self-described introvert and it was during the day, but it tapered off toward the end. It definitely had a more friendly feel once we were in the cafe. What do you think? Anything you would have done differently? Escalate faster, stick with the date? I felt like I was kind of high energy the whole time, and in my limited experience in the past I've done better with a more low key approach. I was no dancing monkey, but I certainly could have been more seductive with my energy and tone of voice. Any feedback or further clarifying questions are welcome.

*edit for typos **Update: She texted me this morning asking if I was free for lunch. I told her I had a meeting (which was true) and that I am usually more available in the evening. Not very girlfriendly behavior, but then again some girls are just oblivious. That or I friend zoned myself just that quickly.