Posting because I can't tell anyone in my social circle this story and need to vent. This is a field report of a successful f-close. However, it is ultimately a failed seduction due to my lapses in game and good sense. Also, in case of the very small chance you are so unfortunate as to recognize yourself as having a role, I hope it helps you understand.

Contact

Presented HB8 (slim, well-dressed, Asian), probably a hard 6, but personally appealing. We had dated for a month, over 10 years ago and then not kept in contact until starting sporadic emails a year ago. Started texting a month ago, at first about my frustrations in dating a different woman. Increasingly the texts became flirtatious. We were both going to a conference in another city and planed to meet up.

The Setup

Relevant: she has had a boyfriend for several years. It started passionately, but due to some severe work-related problems, their relationship and interactions have been strained. Apparently he has let himself go somewhat in terms of not staying in shape, and allegedly their sexual encounters are rare at this point. She had already cheated on him in the past with an extended affair, without his finding out. She stated that she plans to leave him after a specific work-related event occurs in the near future.

Also relevant is that we have a strong component of shared experiences in the past, and it felt like we had built up some degree of friendship before meeting.

The Meeting/F-Close

She shows up at my hotel on the first night of the conference. We grab a drink at an upscale bar around the corner, chat for an hour, then go to my hotel room. No overt game, simple and direct. Attraction and comfort were set up 10 years ago, rekindled by texting, and then maintained through the evening. No hassel close in the room. Unprotected sex, finished inside, despite the boyfriend.

Progress and Decline

At this point, game is out the window. We spend time together during the day, and she moves in to my room for the remainder of the conference. During this time, no game. I show affection and interest openly, and she does the same. Also throughout, the boyfriend is constantly texting and calling her, and intriguingly, she always answers or responds instantly. She has a lot of anxiety about how upset he will become if she doesn't do this. At first it seems like she is trying to avoid a fight with him and playing along. I don't say anything, after all I knew about the relationship before I got involved. I felt some guilt, but I stayed complicit.

Inevitable Fall

When the conference ended, we made plans and traveled to another city, where we planned to spend a couple of days together. At this point, things were going well, and it seemed like her current relationship would be ending, and we might continue to date. However, at the same time, the intensity and frequency of the boyfriends needy texts and calls increased. She at one point leaves me inside a bar to go out and talk to him on the phone. At another point, ignores me on the street to talk to him. I call her on it. That results in a tearful outburst, but no change in behavior. After a miserable night, she cuts our plans short and flies back to him.

About the Other Man

It almost felt like I was AMOG'd long-distance. However I believe his texts were distinctly beta. He wanted to know everything she was doing, where she was, and they were full of begging and loving compliments. I couldn't hear the phone calls, but she told me he would repeatedly tell her he loved her, and she wouldn't respond. But, I'm fairly sure she would sometimes reciprocate. She mentioned some vaguely alpha characteristics, about his being ex-military and hinting at a vague threat of violence to her property. Also alpha, is despite the herb-like content of the messages, she almost literally jumped to answer when he would call or text. And she did run back to him once his insecurity became too great to be managed over the phone.

Outcome/Lessons Learned

Despite almost a week of good sex, I left frustrated. Being mistreated in favor of the boyfriend who she supposedly planned to leave felt terrible. I imagine for her, the week felt like the sort of emotional roller-coaster ride that women thrive on. She followed up with an email about how she needs time to end the relationship and "heal" and would like to talk further after that. Despite suspecting this is a blow-off, I replied with a short email letting her know that her behavior with the boyfriend showed she didn't value my time and attention. I know that this sort of attempt to be rational fails with women, but it felt better to say something.