Divided into two parts. Part one is a personal reflection, which for my own benefit needs to be put to word. Part two is a compilation of Field Reports.

Philosophy and Seduction

A privileged, "cookie cutter" upbringing allowed me to become a bright, considerate man with plenty reason to be optimistic about my future. Some people go through traumatizing or exhilarating life events and come out completely transformed individuals on the other side. I have had no such experience. But, day for day, the last six weeks has been arguably the most transformative period of my life.

It started with procrastination. Studying for finals led to distraction, which led to Reddit, which somehow brought me to Seddit. I had had an eventful Fall semester. I won't bore you with the details, but here are the two important points: 1) I went on my first dates. 2) I became a jerk.

The dates were just kind of funny. I met one girl at the pool and asked her out on the spot. It was the most spontaneous thing I'd ever done. After the first date I decided she wasn't for me (she's actually a great girl, but two decades of no relationships whatsoever builds lofty expectations). Another girl flirted with me in class, and I took her out for a ridiculously expensive dinner. I even got a k-close after date 2 (oh boy!), but dropped the ball in a fantastic way. I look back on my AFC self with pity in my eyes and smile on my mouth - the sly smile of knowing what's about to come.

While this was going on, I came down with a bad case of douchebaggery. Not that I realized it. In my mind, I was just being confident. Being bold, asking girls on dates, not taking shit from anyone, making funny jokes (at my friends' expense. Oops!). In reality, it was a textbook case of counterfeit confidence being thrown around by an insecure young man. I thought my "success" with women validated it. Well, my dance partner dumped me because I was treating her like crap and didn't even realize it. That was the smack in the face I needed.

In the weeks leading up to Seddit Day Zero, I partied less, did nothing with girls, and tried to find the PLplotsOTS the world knew and loved. (By the way, it's pronounced "Plots Within Plots").

And then... Seddit.

The discovery of /r/seduction felt like the discovery of the New World: the thrill of an unexpected find, the exploration of uncharted territory, and the potential to become something great. Plus, the stars were aligned in my favor. A few days later I returned home on winter break with plenty of time and nothing to do. I threw myself into learning the art of seduction. Simultaneously - and this is key - I read philosophy.

At this point, some background information is necessary. I live my life by a small number of core principles. One is a firm belief in continuous self-improvement. A second is a personal mission to return to the world the gift it has inexplicably given me: the opportunity to make whatever I want out of myself. We're talking privilege here. The fact that I'm sitting comfortably at a laptop while a billion people wallow in poverty astounds me. On a philosophical level, I think it's my duty to help fix that. The third is a fluid conception of my own personality. As an offshoot of the self-improvement thing, I've always been a chameleon. Acting one way around certain people and very differently around others. It extends beyond specific circumstances, though, into long-term trends. I'll have several months of introversion followed by several of extroversion. Periods of deep personal sentimentality followed by periods of laughing, ruthless efficiency. This may be a little exaggerated, and typical of people my age, but the point is this: I calibrate my personality based on reaction from others.

Anyway, the combination of seduction literature, Atlas Shrugged and Thus Spoke Zarathustra makes a potent drink for one's mind. All three are imperfect. In the wrong mind, their ideas can throw one far from the path of becoming a better person. But it worked for me. The scales, layered on from two decades of societal conditioning and personal insecurity, fell from my eyes. I have finally realized: the world is my oyster. I care what my peers think about me only so far as it ensures I remain a good person. I do not care what society expects of me. My own principles guide me on the path to a fulfilling life. Morals, which others impose on me, deter me from that path. I am the product of cautious and thoughtful social and philosophical architecture, but now the project is complete. For the first time in my life, I am perfectly secure as my own person.

Field Log

  1. At a department store on an errand. As I walk in, the theft buzzer goes off. I give the girl greeting customers a grin and a "who, me?" expression and continue on my way. On my way out, I walk past her and she makes a joke about not giving me a flyer. We start talking, and I go fairly direct. She calls me out for hitting on her but responds well. It turns out we went to high school together but barely ever met. She's amazed by how much I've changed and repeatedly says, "you're funny!" I get her number, send her one text and add her on facebook. No response, but I won't be able to see her until May anyway, so I'm content with having planted the seed.

  2. Three approaches in NYC. The first, I go indirect on a girl walking on a street. No response. I plow on but falter and disengage, having made a fool of myself. Later I talk to two girls walking down the street. Conversation goes well, though I'm just being friendly and forgetting to flirt. The two friends pick a Starbucks to get food at. Looking back, I know I would have been welcome to join, but I miss the opportunity and say goodbye. At dinner, I strike up a conversation with a woman ten years my senior. We talk for an hour, and she flirts with me! That was entertaining to see.

  3. Yesterday. Met a young foreign woman giving a talk at my school. She currently lives near my hometown, and I built up conversation based on that. She gives me her contact info (this is more for networking than an IOI). In hindsight, I should have asked her to dinner. Friended her on facebook but it's not the same. I wasn't trying to flirt with her; she just seemed like an interesting person. Oh well.

  4. At dinner I introduced myself to a table of three girls, and later, a table of two others. Both sets went great. One girl asked my name, and my response was ~direct eye contact~ "what's yours?" Her two friends were awed, and one said, "that's powerful." The same girl who asked my name was pretty angsty about being single. I wish I could talk to her again and help her become comfortable with herself like I have. Anyway, direct game is difficult to do at university without coming across as the campus creeper. I prefer direct, but for now I'm focusing on social circle.

  5. Frat party. Wore a shirt and skinny tie to a rave. Good call, the girls noticed it. I didn't drink much, which gave me an interesting perspective. Girls at parties are so easy to get; the drunker ones just fall into your lap (sometimes literally). I enjoy a challenge, and seeing how easy they are was a surprising turn off. It also made me realize how few truly attractive women are at my school (then again, my standards are stratospheric).

I know these are all brief, and lacking in technique and dialogue. They're more of a demonstration of what I've been up to. One thing worth adding: I've started meditating. Nothing special, just closing my eyes and sitting on the floor for five minutes or so. It works wonders with inner game. I'm also working on eye contact. Hopefully I'll have some more exciting FR's in the near future. Maybe I'll do a night of direct, just for fun.