So the reason I am writing this field report (all 1100 words of it!!) is that I think it is a good example of fucking up what could have been an otherwise successful seduction. There are good and bad points - useful for learning hopefully. Questions I shall ask at the end:

  1. Could an experienced PUA tell me if they’ve been in a similar situation and how they would have handled it?
  2. Was I too needy/desparate?
  3. Should I have just gone along with drinking and dancing, despite not wanting too? This was obviously her way of loosening up?

Background
I met this girl online and had gone on a great walk with her the day before, where our conversation was excellent and we formed a really strong emotional connection. I physically escalated a little, but I (probably incorrectly) stalled on moving things quicker as the mood (/weather (it was raining)) wasn’t quite right.

Good game part…
So I manage to get her out to a cool bar tonight, and although she says she isn’t on top form (“tired”) and keeps referencing this throughout the conversation, I manage to get her going with conversation, we chat about some interesting stuff, and I also try out the cube for the first time, and it went down superbly – she really dug it. In fact, that was a turning point in the evening. I’m in state, chatting to randoms at the bar while ordering drinks, and keeping the convo flowing – awesome.

I know that I need to take the hit and escalate reasonably quickly (it is the second date after all), so at an apt point, I say “wait”, and touch her chin, pulling her in. She resists, but I maintain strong eye contact, with a sexy grin and gesture her face towards me with my finger. She yields and finally kisses me – game on! Fact is, if she didn’t kiss me then, she wouldn’t fuck me later, so this was screening.

Let’s Bounce
I tell her I want to bounce to somewhere else. She doesn’t like my suggestion of where to go next – she wants to go somewhere clubby to dance. Already?!? This isn’t my strongpoint, but it’s actually quite a cool bar with good cocktails so I fold and say yeah that’ll be fun. We walk for ten minutes to get there, queue some sexual banter which she enjoys and even takes the lead in and we kiss once or twice more. She says “I can see us getting stupid in a couple of hours”.

She wants to drink and dance - not fuck
I start getting a little concerned. The fact is, obviously at this point I want to go back to hers and get down to real business, but she obviously has this image of us out drinking for hours. Yo, I’m not even into drinking that much – I don’t need a confidence boost, and if anything it lowers my game.

Anyway, we get to this bar, kiss a little, then head straight to the bar, where she orders some strong drinks. I have Irish blood – I can handle strong drinks, but yo she is drinking them faster than me. We dance a bit. Dancing isn’t my strong point, but I just smile and move confidently, it’s all about confidence. Some guy tries to chat her up and she even tells him I’m her boyfriend, and then I handle him like a champ, being uber friendly and engaging so he stops talking to her and engaging me, then grabbing her and dancing off sexily. Awesome AMOG game!

Premature close
We do that for about an hour, periodically getting new drinks. I stop enjoying myself and start analysing the shit out of the situation. Thinking about what an experienced PUA would do. I want to fuck this girl, I don’t want to dance and drink until I’m too out of it to take her home. I am tipsy as balls, so I’m disinhibited and here is where I make my mistake I believe.

My mistake in all it’s fucking glory
She can kinda tell from my body language that I’ve stopped enjoying myself, so I’m like “yeah I’d like to head over to somewhere where we can make out privately some more”. She kinda digs it but is a little apprehensive. I hold strong eye contact, confidently. She’s acting a little sketchy, not sure what’s happening. For some reason I decide to say “Hey yo, let’s head back to yours for some tea”. She gets really edgy at this, she knows exactly what I mean, and she’s like “no, erm” she has no idea what to say.

I decide, fuck this, this is make or break yo, let’s power through this bullshit, she ‘s attracted to me, I’m attracted to her, why would we not go back now. I tell her that she has such great energy and I would love to head back to hers. I don’t want to go into many more details, but there was more dialogue. We left the club, she tried to convince me to go to another bar with her, I decided to be all dominant and say, we could go to another bar, but you know where I really want to go. Just terrible game, it makes me so disappointed after all my previous progress.

An ultimatum??? Fuck.
At one point I even fucking gave her an ultimatum which is pathetic, but it slipped out (probably because the girl got me drunk yo) “We can either go back together and have a great experience together or you can sleep alone tonight.” Fucking hell, if I read someone saying that on here, I would laugh my tits off, it’s such a ridiculous thing to say….

She wasn’t keen. I was about to walk away, because I wanted to preserve the last bit of dignity I had, but she asked me to walk and chat with her about the whole thing. She was surprised that someone as emotional atuned as I would be so into sex she said. Fuck off!

We walked along a little more chatting, but I knew I had blown it. I explained a little bit about why I had done it, but I knew by this point (I mean fucking hell when you are explaining to the girl) that my god it was fucked.

We parted. I’m flying back to work tomorrow post-New Year and she knew that. She said it was probably better it had worked out this way because she “wouldn’t miss me so much”. That sucks.

Suggestions?

  1. Was I too needy/desparate?? (I actually had sex a couple of days ago, with a successful sed, so I wasn’t even desparate, I just came across as).
  2. Should I have just gone along with drinking and dancing, despite not wanting too? This was obviously her way of loosening up?
  3. Could an experienced PUA tell me if they’ve been in a similar situation and how they wudda handled it?