In light of the criticism regarding Tofu's post on leading and aggression, let me tell this brief story.

Out with BAS tonight, and I started dancing with a beautiful girl. We hit it off like wildfire, so I tried to kiss her. She said "Not till you earn it." I said some bullshit shit-test buster, etc. A few minutes later, I just pulled her close and she resisted. No problem, kept dancing, having fun, etc. She was obvs. attracted to me, big time. She kept leaving and talking to her friend, but holding my hand all the while, and I suspected something strange was going on. Sure enough, girl has a bf. Normally this is the end of the road for me, but I genuinely like this girl, and I really fucking want to kiss her, so I try to kiss her again, and again. Keep getting shot down, which makes us both laugh, etc. Finally, I tell her "You should go away now, because I am going to keep trying to kiss you." She makes to go away, I make to apologize, then I move in real close, and we finally kiss. Then again and we make out, so on.

Look, I know this is just the story of a single kiss. I don't want the moral to be persistance though. Rather, I just want to show a way in which Tofu's advice about leading the interaction, being physical, etc. does require some sexual aggression. I had to disregard her protests about her boyfriend, but the fact of the matter is that I wanted that girl--genuinely. I want to take that girl on a fucking date. Now, I was aggressive as fuck; she said no a thousand times. but she liked it. I know that. She gave me her number and has been texting me all night.

If I did what I did with a girl who I didn't know liked me, I would belong in jail. But as it worked out, it was some of the hottest shit that's ever happened to me. It is unbelievably important to know the difference between real and token resistance. Maybe there is no difference, and in reality, I am a total asshole. But I feel good about what I did.

TL;DR the ethics of pickup are hella complicated.