Three new numbers have entered my phone, no new lips have touched my own, and my dick remains dry and unused since railing that religious girl a week ago (and suffering the baby-talking “do you really love me?” consequences). My success last night was just short of nil from a strictly pussy-oriented POV. So why was it such a great night then, gentlemen?

Because last night my mind was clear. Last night I was conscious of what I was feeling, what I wanted, and what was happening.

Normally, when I go out to practice Seduction, one of two things happens. Either I stand there vacillating between literature affirmations and self-loathing at my inability to overcome self-limiting beliefs and “guilt about seduction” (see this post), or I spray half-assed openers like shotgun pellets until some girl looks bambi-eyed at me; and then I make out with her for hours in this transcendental state where I think I’m in love, such that fucking her in the bathroom or on somebody’s stoop seems to me in this crazy scarcity/NiceGuy-mindset somehow wrong.

(Note: I’m travelling right now, staying in hostels, so logistics tend to not really be in my favor; any advice or experience on this front is greatly appreciated).

Yesterday, I didn’t feel any guilt. I didn’t feel any shame either. (Sedditors recommended No More Mr. Nice Guy and Power of Now to me in my last post. I read them, and I highly recommend them, especially to “intermediates” in Seduction, whatever that means).

Normally I talk and talk and talk and talk. Yesterday I allowed myself to be quiet. Normally I fret and fret and fret and fret. Yesterday I allowed myself to be still. Normally I open girls that I’m not that into, just to induce the social momentum required for “higher value chicks.” Normally I never make it to those higher-value chicks. Yesterday, for better or worse, I opened the girls I was interested in.

e.g. the Unicorn--hands-down the hottest girl in the bar. I made her giggle and blush all the way through her boyfriend (the Joker) coming and going agrily, and then coming back with his friends.

It was positively liberating to stand there against the wall, just watching that band, for example. I didn’t force myself to open the HB6 next to me like I normally would, because to be honest, I was more interested in the awesome music at that early hour of the night. But then she opened me. And kept opening me, despite my uncharacteristically concise answers and the long pregnant silence between our frankly deep-and-refreshing conversation.

And then there was the girl (~6) that I let myself think I was falling in love with because I admired her lack of fucks as she revelled with her friends. How will I open her? I thought. She’s got four straws in her drink. So I grabbed a handful of straws from the bar and stood there staring, waiting for her boyfriend or suitor to leave, so I could deliver my opener: “I noticed that you like straws…”

All the sudden I started laughing at how fucking needy and silly that opener and the whole idea of this approach was, and I dropped the straws in the trash, (which, if you know my compulsive inertia, is more difficult for me to do than open the girl). Instead of hating myself for not having the balls to make the approach on this girl that I had fixated on approaching, I laughed a little more at myself as I opened a couple of other girls and number closed one of them.

Et cetera. I made a bunch of approaches with varying degrees of success--mostly little. I had little paroxysms of getting in state and other moments where I was “finding myself” with my butt against the wall and a half-drunk glass of Coca-Cola. But the key thing is that I was there, guiding the ship--not on autopilot. I was practicing something. I was seeking to improve, and I was taking risks in the service of that goal.

In my opinion, that is more important than fulfilling the find-arbitrary-girl-and-fuck-her ideal. Anybody can get out there, turn off their mind, and strip mine the bar with clumsy approaches. It’s something else to start finding your element, feeling yourself, discovering and working towards fulfilling your will, and making directed, conscientious approaches at the kinds of girls you really want--not just the ones that probability and blind initiative leave in your hands.