In light of recent experiences with friends, some of them wonderful and some of them stuck at some time before puberty, I've decided I'm going to be a lot more careful with who I open up to and invest time in. I have a higher threshold for who I consider a friend now. Don't get me wrong the wonderful people are wonderful. Anyway, I'm still working on approaches and inner game mostly, I want to find ways to find out information about a person's personality, their inclinations, and maturity, whatever factors you might deem important, etc. without wasting too much time. Any suggestions on what to work into the conversation? (yes, I'm going to begin gauging people - out of self respect, not malice)

Note: IMO you should never settle for people who make you feel terrible after any interaction, even an ongoing relationship where you've known the person for almost 10 years. I had a guy who I knew, and I just kept giving in, being ignored, mistreated, and tolerating things, pretended I was interested in his stuff while he ignored my interests (yes, I know, whine whine whine...I can't get into all of it anyway) when I should've left long ago. I'm in a similar situation with a girl, except she has so many positive qualities (and I'm not deluding myself, she really does, she's not like him at all) that it's hard to let the negatives bother me.