Let me just tell you a story at 1:45AM.
Tonight, day (7? 8?) of being single after 2.5 years, I went out with my roommate. Some background: he's a pretty jacked, good looking guy who kills it in the Tinder game. In the 6+ times we've gone out I've NEVER seen him approach a girl, but I have seen girls go up to him. If I'm being honest, this guy gets laid. All the time. By attractive women.
Tonight we we're out at our local and he loudly proclaims "ALL OF THESE GIRLS HERE ARE UGLY EXCEPT ONE." OK, I say, why don't you go talk to her? "Yeaaaaahhhh...I think I'll just wait. She's got two guys around her."
Fine. After years of being in a relationship and doing no-pressure approaches, I have no anxiety left. I go out there and chat her up: "Just wanted to come over and say hi--you all looked interesting." Conversation ensued about which president you'd be--I'd be JFK, of course.
Turns out she's engaged. Her fiance knows a friend of mine. I get everyone's numbers and promise to invite them to our next house party. "Dude, I love the fact that you came up and just talked to us--you're a great guy, we'll be there next Friday." They're all fun folks and, as it turns out, they're our neighbors.
"Dude, that girl was ugly. I give you no credit for talking to them, she's fucking engaged. You got nothing out of it, what a joke."
Let me tell you one thing I won't stand for, and that's someone who shits on me. I don't stand for it with women, with men, strangers, friends, I don't give a fuck. If you're a mannered, respectful human being you don't say shit like that. In a moment of weakness I asked him: how many times have you approached girls in the last two weeks? At my last count, zero. "Well how many times have you gotten laid in the last two weeks? Exactly."
Touche. Fair challenge buddy, fair challenge. "Fuck. You." Fuck. You. I will beat you at life. I will earn more money than you, be in better shape than you, meet more people than you, and have a better girl than you. I've already got 2/4, so game on, friend.
May the best man win.
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