Getting laid, dating, and self-improvement

glitch0 · 2015-02-07T04:56:54+00:00

The road is very straightforward, yet very unpleasant, hard and uncomfortable.

You gotta look at what's most threatening for you, address that first and gain massive confidence in the process. If you say your anxiety and AA are terrible, then you know what you need to do. Those things are preventing you from feeling good about yourself, and are limiting your options.

We all wish there was a book you could read, a video series you could watch, or a pill you could take that would turn you into poontang-man, but it just doesn't work that way. You have to do your time, spend the 3-5 years infield, opening 1000 sets or more per year until talking and building relationships with strangers is as mundane for you as sitting behind the wheel of a car when you drive to work. You've had sex with one woman: your experience is very humble and you need to gain as much of it as possible as quickly as possible. Expose yourself to the uncomfortable starting this week, it's not going to get better without plenty of action.

scoinv6 · 2015-02-07T11:32:16+00:00

Toastmasters builds confidence which translates into getting what you want. It changed by life.

Throwingitalla · 2015-02-07T08:29:53+00:00

You can do this.

You have no swag: http://reddit.com/r/malefashionadvice Go over there, find someone who looks cool and mimic their style; until you get the point enough to piece together your own style. The community and resources there will help you develop an eye for style, something that has quite literally been my foot in the bedroom door with certain women.

You have approach anxiety. Here's a trick that helped me. Try to say hi to every stranger you see. Every person you see in passing, try to make eye contact with. Say hello. Smile. Chat up random people with an innocent joke if you're in close proximity to them. Talk to everyone. Men, women, fat, skinny, hot, ugly, old, young. This will make you feel closer to the human race, and get you into the mode of treating hot women just like everyone else, which is honestly a powerful attractor in and of itself.

Drugs and alcohol can only hurt you, it sounds like. My caveat being that drinking can lower some people's inhibitions and make them more liquid courageous, but it doesn't sound like it's helping you much so I would leave it out of the equation. Don't sweat it.

On small talk in loud places: you can honestly pick up women by saying nothing. I've done it. It's all about your energy, intent, and bravery. In a loud nightclub I've had to pull girls over to dance with me, unable to hear each other, and within ten minutes we're making out. There's a Mark Manson story where he picks up a girl in Argentina who spoke no English, and him speaking little to no Spanish, by motioning for her to dance with him. She's shaking her head. He's persistent and eventually she obliges. Then he dances with her, twirls her around, they're laughing, something about drawing on napkins etc. and they end up hooking up.

Don't worry about what you look like too much. If you want a relationship, you're going to need to take care of yourself. A hookup doesn't matter terribly (I've gotten success with an overgrown face and basically a mullet), but if you aren't hygienic and well-groomed don't expect the chick to stick around. Relationships are a different beast, one that is more multifaceted and hard to discuss.

The main thing is not giving a fuck about what people think of you. That is the best thing you can possibly do. Just act boldly through your intentions.

EDIT: Another note on relationships, one I've been thinking about a lot lately in trying to secure one, but relationships are most stable when balanced. Meaning that you need to be the male equivalent of whatever girl you're trying to be with. You can't be entitled to the 10 when you aren't a 10 yourself. If she's fun and attractive, you need to be equally as fun and attractive of a man. If you land a chick too hot for you, and this has happened to me (bittersweet, but hey, it made me better) then she will see that and move on. Luckily for her and you, you can make yourself more attractive with conscious effort, putting yourself out there, being true to yourself and being a better guy.

pine-appletrees · 2015-02-08T21:26:59+00:00

FR update: so this weekend my roommates were out of town so I especially wanted to bring a girl home. I met a friend at a local show he was playing. Turnout was less than I expected, a few small bars and an outdoor stage that got shut down before midnight. So I was feeling a little shy to approach but ended up talking to this cute cougar who was super into me. She gave me her number, I was honest with her, and hopefully I end up seeing her again. She gave me much more confidence than I'm used to.

Title	Getting laid, dating, and self-improvement
Author	pine-appletrees
Upvotes	7
Comments	7
Date	February 7, 2015 2:18 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2v1w8k/getting_laid_dating_and_selfimprovement/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/getting-laid-dating-and-self-improvement.1383544 https://theredarchive.com/post/1383544

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