I’ve posted pretty recently about how I was so mentally exhausted from pushing my boundaries but it’s kinda been reaching a new low for me. I wanted to express / vent what I’m feeling in the hopes that it’ll get me back up or something.

I’m a 25M, Asian, 5’6” w glasses. I’m losing weight bc of the exercise regimen I’ve started this summer, and I’ve definitely seen some gains there. I am interning in a new city for the summer and have met a few girls through work and their mutual friends. But they are all either taken or the vibe was just not there.

My goal this summer is to get good at talking to girls in bars & clubs because I feel like this is the most direct way to meet people - Tinder/Bumble haven’t worked out and I already mentioned the mutual friend situation. I really just want to take one girl home this summer if possible (there I said it, don’t judge me)

Another thing is that I have severe social anxiety. Therefore, the fact that I’ve made a lot of friends, including some female friends, was definitely an achievement for me but I still find it very anxiety-inducing to be in places like bars and clubs because I feel like everyone is watching me. My social anxiety is something I really want to fix this summer.

Today I had decided to head to a local bar after work alone. I’ve been trying to get out of my head and just sit there. I’ve tried this once before and the last time a guy pushed me to the ground and started making out with a girl - I was obviously hugely embarrassed. But people on here said I should try again so I decided tonight I’m gonna go.

But at 5 today I got so so scared and anxious that it quickly turned into hopelessness. I kept thinking things like:

  • “I’m a fucking loser for even having to deal with this or be on R seduction.”
  • “everyone will think I’m a fucking loser and I’ll be laughed out of the bar by all the girls”
  • “I have weird hair and glasses - no girl would want me to talk to them bc I’m not tall or attractive enough” “One of my friends has bragged so much about taking girls home all the time - I feel so shitty that I’m having so much trouble talking to at least one”

“I only have 6 more weeks here - I’m screwed, I’m never gonna get to where I want to be in time”

“I’m 25 and need to figure out social rules and talking to women? Man I’m a fucking loser”

“All the guys here with girlfriends probably think ‘lol THAT guy wants to talk to women? Haha

I had so many thoughts that I cut my workout short and got Chipotle instead. I didn’t go out at all.

I’m trying to go out tomorrow but I’m so scared the same mental rut will still be there (it still is - I’ve gotten very low and hopeless). Is there any way to get back up? How can I face my fears and social anxiety at the club without embarrassing myself?

I know this seemed like a venting post but if anyone has any advice that’d be very helpful .