I've been trying to practice being more social lately, mostly easy targets like cashier's, old ladies, bartenders etc but I've noticed I always feel very fake while I'm doing it. Like I'm not being myself and "trying too hard". And I feel like the people I'm talking to are picking up on it, guarded and wondering if I'm some psycho.

Anyway I've been kind of a loner uo to this point, almost no close friends and few friends at all. Might have to do with that, my voice is nasal af and i look kind of like a nerd so people can probably tell I'm insecure.

Will this pass? Am I trying too hard to be someone I'm not or is it just my brain trying to resist change? Fuck this came out a lot more pathetic then I wanted.