So, I've been reading material lately about pickup as I've been re-socializing myself (I was a tech entrepreneur for three years, and sat in front of a computer ALL THE TIME, so I had no life). I have to say that I've been having really good luck from just getting over AA. I play volleyball, and in the course of 4 hours at a park a few weeks ago, I got like 5 girls' numbers and made some new friends in the city, which isn't something I take for granted, as I'm an american expat living in Germany.

So, I've had varying success in generating interest with the girls. One only begrudgingly answered my texts. We might do something sometime. Other words, NEXT.

One was enthusiastic toward me, and as I started escalating the text convo a bit, she said something along the lines of "I feel suddenly I have to tell you I have a boyfriend. Just in case" <-- This message had smileys and winking smileys and stuff, and I don't often give that too much weight, but it did seem like a mixed signal. Anyhow, she ended up inviting me to go see the EM Germany vs. Italy soccer (football in Europe) game with her and some people (including her bf, who is no phantom). Then she invited me to go to a dance class with her at the local university she attends, even though I don't attend and wouldn't technically be allowed in. It went well, obviously kino is easy in that environment.

From going to see the soccer match, I got her (single?) friend's number, and she seems interested in me.

Also, from the first day, I got the number of who is (to me) the HOTTEST chick I have seen in this city. We've since played volleyball, and she mentioned learning better English from me in exchange for me teaching her better German. We just played together again today, and she invited me to the NEXT soccer match in a few days. However, she, too has a bf, so I don't really know how to interpret signals there.

Third, another girl who knows the immediately previous one gave me her number and she gives all kinds of IOIs. I THINK (but am not sure) that she also is boyfriended, as she was stroking the arm of this guy who came and sat next to her today, and they left together.

So there are a few other numbers I've gotten from this group in the meantime with girls who may be more available, and there are a few more details, but you have the basis. Now, I basically need to make decisions about what my goals are, as some of them are competing with one another (at least for the low-level player neophyte I am right now). I would love FWB or something like that. ONS isn't really my thing, but I am still wrestling with the source of this mentality. Probably beta relationship mentality, as that was basically the entirety of what I was brought up believing and practicing up till now. Not tripping on it, just accepting it might be so.

However if I do FWB, I run the risk of alienating people unexpectedly (or maybe I'm constructing a limited belief here, and really girls love to hand off to one another...?), since there are basically only 2 separate groups I've been getting connected with. It is also a goal of mine to establish some social roots here (like the group that plays beach volleyball), so I don't really want to poison that water hole, either.

And in general, I'm not really hot to trot on the concept of being a home-wrecker, even though the IOIs are there. I am always somewhat open to "being sold on" a relationship. I don't seek it, but if some chick comes along and is perfect, I'd go with it. For what it's worth here, I'm a freelance app developer who may not be in this country long, so quite literally, I may just move half a world away soon, depending on opportunities and income needs.

So, to recap:

  1. I got like 5 numbers from 3 different groups, 2 of which (groups) are significant. The people in the same groups know one another.
  2. These 5 numbers led to fruitful social connections and additional numbers (some cool male vb players, too, for context)
  3. 3 of the 5 best prospects have boyfriends, seemingly, but the IOIs are there.
  4. I am interested in creating the following for myself: a. FWB(s) with hot chick(s)... would consider being persuaded into a relationship b. Social circle(s) with cool social opportunities c. Further flow and self-confidence leading to more opportunities for these and other good things (I want to keep the momentum)

On the chicks with BFs: I don't really have developed thoughts about "home-wrecking". I have been cheated on. I have been with girls (without getting them to cheat) who easily would have. Literally inches and half a second away from it. So I fully understand from both sides the reality of breaking the bonds of relationship fidelity. It is intoxicating and naughty from one side, really destructive from the other if known. I also understand that there is a distinct difference between "Married" and "BF/GF".

So, given my situation, what are some good ways to organize my thinking around the opportunities I have and am newly getting, as they relate to my goals? Should I just run around with my dick out and hurl myself toward all the holes, so to speak? Is it really bad form to be "farming" groups because of their internal social dynamics? Chicks with BFs seem like unwanted drama... especially in groups with other people may find out. Is this just me being a bitch? (If yes, why?) or is it realistically a lot more efficient and intelligent to just let those pots simmer on the back burner?

Any thoughts are welcome. Just developing my perspective and hoping something in here is relatable to other people who aren't wired to just fuck what moves, but still pull and seal the deal properly.