This is really fresh, as in today, so although I appreciate input please be kind.

Okay so backstory of the girl. She has been working at the same place as me for about 2 years. She is very beautiful and my friends and I actually had a bet who could get with her even though I had no chance at the time. Almost all of the first year I had no contact with her until one of the friends of mine who worked there at the time saw her crying in the hall cause her boyfriend. So they start talking and every once in a while I talk to her, but her and my friend are having more intimate conversations and she is sending him pics and telling him what she wants to do with him. All while still in a relationship. Forward to last December, that friend is leaving the company and starts to slow down talking to her once he realizes she wasn't really going to cheat. So roughly 2 weeks after he leaves I see her in the break room and ask if she misses my friend, we chat for a bit, then when I return to my desk she Skypes me about our conversation. From that point we would Skype all day every day at work and we got to know each other very very well. She was very willing to talk about how she had been divorced(she was only 22, and I 20) and other things I'll leave to her privacy. She would also talk about her current boyfriend, how he abused her emotionally and physically and cheated on her. This is where I think I started to have some attachment, like she needed to be saved. She knew she should leave home but she didn't have it in her. This is basically how it went for a while, she would sometimes comment on my looks or ask about my sex life, sexual fantasies..etc (should be mentioned she is a nymphomaniac which added to the desire)...anyways late September she texts me that her and her boyfriend are done because he cheated on her again. I of course am there as a friend cause I figured I was just a friend to her. But for 2 weeks suddenly she was different around me, she always sent racy photos but they seemed to have more intent and preparation than before. Friday, on the second week I decide to ask her to come to a birthday party with me, she immediately agrees and we go the next day.

It took me about an hour and a couple beers before I decided to get her dancing which lead to making out in a basement which lead to fucking at my place for hours. We decide that fwb with the potential to determine a relationship down the road was our best choice since neither were keen on getting into something. I spent half of October fighting that I liked her and wanted more and the other relinquishing to having feelings. It was easily the best month of the last 2 years for me.

Then November rolls up, turns out it's the same month she got divorced, has PTSD from an awful event, and when her ex hit her for the first time. All that plus her having depression meant she wasn't so cheery, then as if written in a play, her missing uncle is found dead on a river. This is when she completely falls off, she only talks to me at work except for a few stray messages. She is overall just in bad shape and I'm doing my best boyfriend impersonation trying to support her. I kept wondering if this was it between us and got really insecure, I'm working on my anxiety but it became too much. She reached out and apologized for being distant but nothing changed. Coming up to Thanksgiving last Wednesday it felt like pulling teeth talking to her so I figured I'd just keep giving her space. (I want to mention that of course I was taking the obvious hints but I chose to put it all up to what she was going through). So she of course doesn't talk to me all weekend. I decided that I was going to just find out so when I got into work I asked her if she could talk for a second. She was hesitant so I persisted and she told me she just isn't ready for anything, and can't even process the stuff that has already happened to her. She told me she felt like she was just going to hurt me if she didn't get herself healthy.

Sitting here I'm realizing it wasn't the best idea to force her hand just for an answer. This was the first girl I've opened up to in a while so this one is really hurting. I care a lot about her and I'm afraid I can't be her friend anymore.

To the point I guess, I made a key mistake a long time ago. I saw her as a goal, a trophy, not a person. This let me pedestal her for a long time before speaking to her. When I befriended her, i took the nice guy route and didn't ever show interest. I actually tried to friendzone her, which although it worked, is pretty scummy. I don't think I would do it over again to lose her as a friend. To the oneitis, as soon as we fucked, I was hooked. I let myself completely indulge in fantasy with her. Which although October was great, I should have been more wary considering her situation. I even asked a girl on a date and stood her up because of how much I wanted this one.

I played with fire and got burned, did I win a bet? Yeah. But I gave up a friend. Keep your head and emotions healthy, I think I'm going to spend some time with a therapist to figure my shit out. Don't let your dick think for you my friends

Really I just wanted to vent but if anyone has opinions or info its appreciated. I'd really like help with salvaging a friendship with her.