For the guys who want to put in the effort, improve themselves and get better with women, these are in my opinion the key things to keep in mind at the beginning of that journey, and all the way through:

  • Happiness is only in the present moment
  • The relationship between Effort and Results is not linear
  • There is such a concept of “being good enough”

Let’s consider the first point and let’s have a look at this scenario: it has been long time since you last did any kind of sport, and you have now decided to join a gym. This time around you are taking things seriously, and after two weeks of regular workout you start noticing little changes in your body already. It feels amazing, the results are showing already! And it can only get better!

You get carried away and start projecting a future image of you, looking just like the jacked dude you saw on some advertisement. When you look like him, it will be just great: girls will be giggling at you, girls will be smiling flirtatiously at you, girls will be literarily falling all over you everywhere you go. It feels so good, you just can’t wait. It’s not exactly clear when all this will materialise, so you just take a reference point: when you bench press 1.5x your body weight, you will finally consider yourself jacked. Girls will start falling all over you, and you will finally be happy. You are not happy now, but all you need to do is work hard, reach your objective, and then all that female attention will make you happy. That’s for sure.

Right now, you cannot make girls swoon yet, but you are getting closer to that since you work out hard every week. And then even closer, as you keep working out month after month. And then even closer still. And after one year of working out very hard, ignoring girls around you almost completely while focusing on your objective only, the day finally arrives when you bench press 1,5x your body weight.

Now you have reached the objective you’ve been working so hard for. Now you are ready to make girls swoon just with your imposing physique. Now you are finally ready to get the reward you worked so hard for. And you start looking at the people around you at the gym: the girl in the corner is smiling at you, like she was smiling at you the week before; the two girls in the corner are talking to each other without even noticing you, as usual; as you leave the gym and say goodbye to the receptionist, she is busy and she distractedly respond to you, as she always tends to do; as you walk back home, you realise that nothing has changed compared to yesterday: sure, a smile here as usual, a smile there as usual…but girls are not making comments on how sexy you are as you walk by them; girls are not blatantly checking you out when you walk towards each other; girls are not proactively hitting on you. That magic moment you have been waiting for does not materialise, that happiness you are now ready to experience and are actually somehow expecting is not there, and that’s when you go:

Oh shit…

Feel free to have a look at this blog post for my full take on common problems with visualization and future projections:

https://highvaluedaygame.com/2019/10/13/happiness-is-only-in-the-present-moment/

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