Hey all. Senior at university here. This isn't as related to "game" as much as it is to relationships in general. When I'm at parties I find myself fairly successful with girls. It's certainly situational to some extent; I've built a solid circle of friends who are good social proof and everything usually is fine in that regard.

I guess my sticking point is sober, one-on-one conversations, especially in passing or before/after class with the person next to me (girls and guys included). I'll talk about in class. I find that when I get to that situation I kind of freeze up and I go into my own head trying to find what to say. I used to just bombard people with questions to the point where they wouldn't even finish the question before I was asking another one, and I seemed to now be doing the polar opposite; just sitting and trying to "embrace the awkwardness" until something comes out. Usually this awkwardness just continues because it's a weird time-frame where I'm kind of in limbo; it's too long of a time to not say anything, yet too short of a time to start to have meaningful conversation. And I feel like there are always these social paradoxes. You can't plan what you're going to say or else you're over invested, but you have to say something meaningful or else no one is going to want to continue conversation (because why would we want to talk to someone who is boring?); you have to be yourself and say what comes to mind, but nothing comes to mind so you can't show people who you are.

Also, in general in one-on-one conversations, I find it difficult to know when to inquire more about people's lives. I know that being vulnerable helps people connect better but how do you go about doing that with people you've only talked to a handful of times? I feel like you can't just casually ask "so how is your relationships with your parents?" because that deviates away from the social norms of a college campus. Or maybe I'm completely out of the loop haha. I'm pretty ballsy when it comes to approaching and making moves and whatnot, I've been told I'm a flirt by girls and that I have an "aura", and I feel like most of this is in my head but HOLY SHIT HOW DO I GET OUT?

TL;DR I come off as confident to others but I feel myself freezing up in one-on-one conversations in college and I get in my own head, with both guys and girls. I want to be able to give more value to people so that they remember me in a positive light.