Context: I started poking around the internet about two years ago because I got my heart shit on and I needed help getting over it. I had to rebuild myself and find out why I was so upset over something that in the long run gave me the strength to want to be a better man. Here's some things I've found along the way after dating a few great women and developing into a much more desirable dude:

  1. Humanize her. She's cute and that's nice, but you don't know much about her or whether or not she's a good fit for you. There are so many beautiful women out there but a large amount of them won't have goals or values that align with your own - a relationship with those girls won't work. Ever.

  2. Don't idolize her or come up with a fictitious version of her in your head. She has negative attributes too, just like you and everyone else. If you think she's a goddess, how are you going to be able to tell her that you like her and want to take her out sometime?

  3. Reframe a negative outcome as a positive one. What can you learn from it? What can it teach you about yourself? Did you improve on something even though you didn't get another date with her? (Example: strong eye contact.)

  4. Don't beat yourself up - if you're disappointed with an outcome do something nice for yourself. It doesn't have to be a big purchase, just something to show yourself a little love.

  5. The amount of women you've hooked up with or slept with doesn't dictate your future success with women. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 26 and felt incredibly insecure about it. Do not let your past failures with girls keep you from wanting to improve - it's ok to fail, in fact it's necessary in order to learn new things and better yourself in the process.

  6. If you want to be with a high caliber woman, you need to view yourself as a high caliber man. (Do not try to fake this, you need to honestly believe this. Put in the work, and do what you need to to get there. If that to you means having a nicer body for example, then do it. Start eating right and working out.)

  7. Success is directly attributed to your mindset and perception of what's occurring. If you throw a bitch fit when a woman you like turns you down, that's a reflection of your character and current place in life.

  8. If you are willing to leave women who you find you're not compatible with, you will thank yourself later. Meet other women, explore how many fucking amazing girls there are out there.

  9. Have female friends that are genuinely your friends. They will help you gain perspective and you'll have them to talk to if you have any questions. They'll value your input too.

Thank you for reading, wanted to keep it short. I hope this helps some of you guys who are just starting out, you're gonna do great.