The number one thing you need to remove from your thinking is the number of SO's you've had versus the number of SO's the girl you are pursuing has had.

When I was in College, I was out one night in Newport Beach, on the peninsula after a party. I was in a state of mind that I would call silly. I was crushing on this girl really hard.

The week before, I was trying to lose my virginity to her. But her friend completely blew it for me. We were literally in her room sitting on her bed, chatting, when her friend comes in and just starts whining about how much relationships suck. I had just finished googling how condoms work, and this idiot blew it. I literally joined the fraternity I joined to be around this girl.

He comes into the room, sits on the bed right between the two of us, and yaps for not 1 minute, not 5 minutes, but for A WHOLE FUCKING HOUR about how it will never work out between guys and girls. How relationships always fail. How happiness isn't a thing.

He ends up literally crying in her arms, and afterwards, she says she didn't want a relationship because "Relationships are hard."

BUZZKILL.

A week later, I was slightly silly. We went out again, but this time in a huge group of friends. Two guys walk up and ask if they can buy her and her friend a drink. She looks at me, and I said, "Get me one, too!"

(Yes, that was a mistake.)

She ends up swapping spit with this Marine, and then asking me to walk her home. I walked her halfway home, and then I went looking for some Marines.

In case you were wondering, Marines are highly trained killing machines. They punch really hard. Can confirm.

Anyway, the entire year I wanted nothing but to be with this girl. And the entire time, I thought the way to prove myself was to make out with as many girls as possible. All the "cool kids" were seen with a different girl every week, and I was highly competitive ball player. I've played against more than a handful of NBA players. So I took that competitiveness to girls. There was one party, where I made out with 6 different girls. I woke up with at least 5 different texts from those girls that were pictures of me with the other girls, and the texts were, "Who the fuck is this girl?"

Now I was a virgin, I never slept with any of them, but I did come down with Mono. And being clueless (no one tells me anything), I texted her one day saying how sick I was and how much I missed her. She said, what's wrong. I said, "I have mono."

Oops. (Literally, no one tells me anything.)

But still, she wanted to go out with me to one of our formal events, and I was excited.

Two weeks before the night I got my ass beat by our nation's finest, and a week before our formal event, I was hanging out with her best friend. She was called a slut a lot. In fact, the guys called her a "cum dumpster". I fucking hated that. I was hanging out with her because she was a good friend, and we both got hammered, and we were walking along the beach and she cried and said, I wish "Slut" wasn't a thing. She said every single one of the guys she hooked up with she thought she loved. She wanted to be our sweetheart, and she felt betrayed. I had a date with her best friend a week later, but we were drunk, and that night, we made out on the beach. I was confused, and I left to go to the bars because I had a date the next week with her best friend! But she followed me to the bar, and we made out there, and then we went back to the apartment we had partied at, and made out for hours before we fell asleep on the floor. As we were making out, she realized something. She was older then me, and she kept playfully saying, "Don't get any ideas now..." And I kept saying, "Ok." I am fairly certain she able to deduce I was a virgin. I was not getting the signals. XD.

In the morning, I kissed her on the cheek, and she smiled. I have no clue whether she said anything to her best friend, but I'll never forget the way she cried that night. She was one of the best friends I ever had, and when she smiled, it made me happy. And they called her a "Cum dumpster." This is right around the time I started throwing punches.

Two weeks later, after I was an asshole to the girl I liked, and after I got my ribs punched in by three Marines, I wandered back to our home base apartment. I killed a 5th of Vodka, and wondered around the peninsula. I stumbled upon a fourth Marine, and I saw him punch his hand through a window. I heard a girl crying, and I was shit fucking faced, and I had just fucked it up in the worst possible way with the sweetest girl I knew, so I charged and tackled him. We wrestled for probably only a minute. We probably looked like a bunch of fucking idiots rolling around next to the sewer, but eventually, and I don't recall why, he stopped, and asked me, "You got a cig?"

I bummed him a cig, and we sat down, and we smoked, and he told me he just got back from war. Told me his girl was fucking this other guy. His hand was split open. We talked, and he thanked me for stopping him. I asked if he was going to break up with her. He said, "Well, we're married." I said, "Fuck...".

That girl graduated that year, and moved far away, and married a European guy that looked just like me. I was actually happy for her. Her friend too, also is married now, to a guy that seems like quality gentlemen. The girl I ended up losing my virginity too, a real sweetheart (and a story for another time) ended up marrying a servicemen. They look so happy now. I used to wonder, what their husbands would think if they knew they used to hang out with a guy like me. But now I realize, they don't fucking care.

What I learned from stumbling around as a drunk was when it comes to dating, you have to adopt a different mindset then most of the guys have. Otherwise, you will end up living a hedonistic life with no fulfillment. Trust me, all the sex, drugs, and money in the world can't kill the pain.

So this is my mentality.

"I don't care about the last guy, because I want to be the last guy."