Partners are attracted to others that demonstrate assertiveness, confidence, and a sense of mystery, traits that are unfortunately more common in toxic partners than healthy partners.

“Nice” partners, while holding good intentions, unintentionally let themselves get walked over by others and rejected.

They also get rejected because their decisions and mindset become predictable, making term phrase “familiarity breeds contempt” valid in this scenario.

The message here isn’t to become toxic, but to set reasonable boundaries that invoke curiosity and respect from the partner.

Do not be available all the time.

The human brain works by valuing what is scarce.

For instance, humans have a tendency to waste fresh water despite studies suggesting not to because it's available from our sinks.

On the other hand, we place great value in jewelry because they are more expensive and rare.

The healthiest way to set boundaries with your ex is by placing them as a main priority, but not in the center of your life.

Have room for other activities and spend time with people other than your partner.

Take up new hobbies and grow from them.

By expanding your comfort zone from placing yourself in new experiences, you grow and change as a person gradually.

This invokes a sense of curiosity and mystery about you from your partner, because they will start wondering how you are doing and how you are changing.

This is how relationships grow.