Hello all, I might go on a bit of a rant and if there is someone willing to listen, I appreciate it.

I'm not sure what to do. I met this girl on tinder and after putting in some effort, she gave me her snap/insta/fb/number. We snapped often and started a streak on snap, we called for hours, and we facetimed. During this time she expressed her feelings for me as I expressed my feelings for her as well, she gave me hints such as needing someone to cuddle with, needing a dick appointment, having dreams of me giving her hickies, etc. After talking/snapping/calling for 2.5 weeks, I went over to her place and we watched a movie in her bed and we cuddled. One thing led to another, and I was giving her hickies, she was grinding on me, and some other stuff. This was her first time doing anything and I was her first at everything. I made sure she was comfortable every step of the way by asking her if she was comfortable and she said yes. She asked me to cuff her and of course I asked her if she would like to be my girlfriend in which she said yes. The next day after I went home, she was saying that she misses me and couldn't wait to see me again. I was in a call with her when she said her mom was calling so I told her she could call me later, well, she called me around 11 pm saying that she thinks we should end it. I was so confused and shocked and hurt, it didn't make sense to me that everything went well and the next day she wants to end it. I asked her why and she said that she felt that we did too much on our first date and she felt like we were going too fast, which I understood but then she also mentioned that during her call with her mom, her mom asked if she did anything with me in which she lied and said no. Her mom said " Good, that's my girl." and I'm guessing she felt guilty after that conversation with her mom. She said she felt ashamed for what she did and she said I brought her bad memories when she was abused as a little kid which I had no idea about before that moment. She said she did the stuff with me just to please me and that I took advantage of her or manipulated her... I tried to be understanding and tried to see if there was another way to approach this problem and she said that moving on and learning for her mistakes was the only solution. She said there were no other options and I disagreed and she ended the call and said she'll give her final decision tomorrow morning. I woke up the next morning and saw that her decision was to end it and move on but later on that day she said she missed me and she felt conflicted over the whole situation, I was kind of angry because I felt really hurt so I gave her my opinion and my view on the problem. I guess I said somethings that she didn't want to hear because she said " Yea, we're over.". I became pathetic and confused and desperate. I kept texting her letting her know how I felt and she messaged me back saying that I need to stop trying to manipulate her to come back to me and that I need to stop contacting her. She blocked me on everything, I had no way of contacting her anymore. I felt really hurt and even though it was a short stint, she said that she didn't want to consider me as her first for anything and that I hurt her a lot. For some reason I felt really depressed and hurt over this breakup and I felt worse than when I ended my 1 year relationship. I know I shouldn't have but I messaged her friends and I made another account to DM her. I honestly regret that I did that and I didn't realize that I was being a creep at that moment, I just wanted the pain to go away. Her friend called me saying that I need to stop contacting her and telling me that what I had with this girl was nothing and that I need to learn and move on and not do what I did to other girls. At this point I'm still not sure what I did to her, I took all the blame, I apologized for things that I probably shouldn't need to. I ask if I can talk to the girl and she said yes, and I just broke down like a bitch. She called me a fucking dumbass and said that I was so dumb and that I need to stop contacting her and stop being a creep and move on. After hearing that I finally got the message that she didn't want anything to do with me. Even though it was hard, I tried my best to focus on myself and just distract myself. I spent time with family, went to the gym, played my favorite sports, hung out with friends, joined new clubs at school, etc. I felt extremely better and couldn't believe how much of a loser I was after the breakup. However, this girl still has my hoodie (she asked me to bring her a hoodie so she can remember me when I was not with her). I texted her friend saying that I would like my $65 hoodie back and I still considered it to be my property and as petty as it sounds, being a college student this hoodie costed 1 shift at work. I sent her the address and she replied saying she would send it. It's been 1 week and I'm willing to wait a month but what should I do if I don't receive it by then? She still has me blocked on everything and I don't want to contact her friends because I don't want to look like I'm trying to get the girl back or look like a creep again.

Although I've been gradually moving on and healing, I can't help feeling a bit depressed when I go to bed and when I wake up. During the day, I'm occupied with school work, friends, or hobbies so I feel great during the day and I guess when I go to bed, I'm alone and I just stare at the ceiling staring thinking about the whole situation. I guess there's a part of me that still that still wishes to be with her. I think I have oneitis.