Hey seddit, I know this may sound like a stupid question but how do I know when I'm actually being myself? I feel like I act a little bit different when I hang out with my different groups of friends, sometimes I'm more laid back and open and always have something to go with (say,etc), othertimes I'm more introverted and take in what were doing, not saying a whole lot, etc.

I've been clean from opiates (drugs, painkillers for those who don't know. such as morphine, oxycodone, dilaudid, etc.) and weed for 6 months and 4 days after 5 years of use. So really I guess I am just figuring out who I am again because I haven't been myself for close to 5 years. I know it's been 6 months but the drugs I was doing; weed in particular, definitely do some heavy damage to your social skills and anxiety, confidence, etc. And I think I'm still working on fixing those things (working on better eye contact, keeping conversations going, etc.)

I don't just sit back and expect all these things to happen and I consciously push myself when I'm with people to be more open, talk more (say what's on my mind, etc.) and just overrall relax when I'm around people I don't really know all that well.

I will admit that I get frustrated from time to time because it's taking so long for things to start going my way (girls, new friends, etc.) but I try not to let it get me down, and just say to myself "Things will get better, my life will never be as bad as it was 10 months ago".

I guess this was more of a rant / blog post than a question lol, once I get to typing something like this it doesn't take much for me to get carried away.

I think I kind of already answered my own question but I'd like to hear what seddit has to say.

TLDR

When will I find out who I truly am and how will I know?