How do I love?

recyclablebantha · 2014-09-28T06:11:13+00:00

I don’t feel love.

Do you think you've ever really felt it?

I admire and really like the woman physique, I like sucking on boobs, I like eating girls out, gotten a blowjob, I’ve met girls who are just like me in every way, they’ve even fit the description of someone whom I want to be with.

None of these things have anything to do with love. But I guess you know that.

Right now it seems like you're more focused on getting in there and maybe there's an element of the whole thrill of the hunt, that you're neglecting what YOU want. But as you can see, that shit fades quickly.

After our first encounter I don’t feel like even talking to her. It feels like a chore to talk to her again..... After one date, every time, I lose the incentive to go after her. I don’t like to text.

This girls sounds like someone you seduced/flirted with, just because you could. That's not going to feel very fulfilling because you're going to be compromising yourself every time you seduce someone who you're not into. It's going to feel like you're losing yourself because who you are, changes with each girl you "game."

And the girls you game are just going to be constant reminders of this compromise. It'll be annoying to be with them for long because you'll constantly be reminded of the lack of real connection and the fact that you aren't being "you" when you're with them. And maybe that you're even losing touch with who "you" are.

I’ve felt something close to love before. She really tried for me. But then she cheated on me after a month because she was a big flirt.

Ah, here we go. This is probably monkey-wrenching things for you. But again, it's unclear whether you really had a connection with her. Just her "trying for you" doesn't equal connection. It's unclear what you mean by "cheated" because you say she's just a "flirt" but flirting isn't cheating.

If you really did love her though, then fear seems to be a barrier against you finding love again. And it will continue to be a barrier until you resolve your fear.

Why can’t I be like other guys? Why can’t I fall in love for a couple months and then breakup like other people?

You aren't describing love here, not necessarily. Love doesn't have to have a shelf life. One of my friends has a pithy way of phrasing this. "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime." (As in, they come in with some lesson for you, they're around for a period of time or for a lifetime.)

Faimes · 2014-10-01T08:50:28+00:00

Love is not a feeling, but an action :-) You don't feel love, you decide to love :-)

firelordozai17 · 2014-09-28T02:17:53+00:00

I'm the same way, although i dont think this is the best place to ask this, i'd really like an answer seddit

gaia_scienzia · 2014-09-28T21:10:30+00:00

I'm in a similar boat. My view of it is this:

Everyone's heart opens up differently. That's why your buddy might love someone who you can't see anything good in, but its still love.

Your heart might be 'picky'. It might be in a 'dormant' stage. There wouldn't be anything wrong with that. Sometimes the heart has a long winter, and then it comes out again, in Spring.

Trying to love others is good. You can focus on and meditate on what is good about others. But this may not mean that your heart opens to them in a passionate way like you are imagining it might.

If this doesn't happen for you, then it doesn't happen. I would not militate strongly against yourself, because I think the truth is most people struggle with a lack of feelings of love. They just may have stronger desire, but not necessarily more love, whereas it sounds like you are lacking love and desire.

Title	How do I love?
Author	questionaskingguy
Upvotes	1
Comments	8
Date	September 28, 2014 2:04 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2hnye1/how_do_i_love/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-love.1308648 https://theredarchive.com/post/1308648

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