How do I overcome oneitus? (Rant/vent/advice needed)

ThrowawayPUA · 2015-06-28T03:02:55+00:00

TcH3rNo · 2015-06-28T05:12:20+00:00

She doesn't want you so move on. She doesn't know what she is missing and a day will come when you will be happy with someone prettier, cooler and smarter she will come to regret it. Fuck her

Wait, did I say this out loud

Psychocist · 2015-06-28T16:18:51+00:00

If you have no problem forming connections with women, but have a problem becoming sexual with them, it's because you're not being sexual. Learn how to tease and flirt and physically escalate. That will throw you into the potential lover category instead of potential friend.

I know what you mean about meaningless sex, but be careful not to develop strong emotional bonds with a woman before you sleep with her. That will, again, turn you into a great friend they don't want to lose. Build comfort, escalate, sleep with them.. then start forming deep emotional connections with the chicks you want to keep around.

To answer your main question - you deal with oneitis by meeting more women. I doubt there is a more effective solution. You think she's special, but she isn't. You'll see that when you meet some other girl who is even prettier/smarter/funnier.

It doesn't sound like you're in love with these women. Love isn't needy. I know the difference because I had oneitis with one of my female friends when I didn't have any other prospects. When I started dating women and the neediness of being with her waned, I realised how I really felt. I do honestly love her, but now in a very unselfish, non-needy kind of way, because I know I'll meet other women who I'll love who will love me.

There is an important rule you should try to follow - do not obsess about a women you are not sleeping with. That will ruin your chances of ever sleeping with her.

Which brings me onto my next point - focus on your lifestyle. You may not be happy because you are not receiving any real affection from women, but women will not lead on a guy who appears emotionally unstable or needy. Her hot/cold attitude could be that she likes you but doesn't know what to do with your in your current state. You need to find happiness elsewhere, happiness should be something you manufacture, not something you receive.

Focus on the fundamentals - good sleep, good diet, exercise. Expand your social circle, dig into hobbies. I struggled a lot getting sexual with women until I started salsa dancing and was forced to dance with lots of sexy chicks. I still struggle, but the anxiety has greatly reduced. Start keeping a list of all the stuff you want to do in your spare time, things you want to try, to cook, places you want to go. Add to that list throughout the week, save up (if you need to - make a job priority if you don't have one), then start doing shit.

If you are truly suffering with depression, then you might not be interested in life much, and that list won't grow. So, think about your past interests, stuff you used to enjoy. Do that, whether you feel like it or not. Of course, you should see a professional, but don't rely on anyone else to fix your situation. I can still feel the remnants of depression and I've not been depressed for about a year.

In fact, you sound like me about a year ago. My life only started changing when I started exploring the world around me, through hobbies and interests. Get out of your head, get out of your house, and get involved in something outside of and bigger than yourself... then seize every possible opportunity to seduce women.

Title	How do I overcome oneitus? (Rant/vent/advice needed)
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	7
Date	June 28, 2015 2:44 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3bd721/how_do_i_overcome_oneitus_rantventadvice_needed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-overcome-oneitus-rantventadvice-needed.1390238 https://theredarchive.com/post/1390238

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