Sometimes the PUA industry is great at saying either what you should be doing, without explaining what you shouldn't, or vice versa.

And "inner-game" (using that for the sake of reference), is one of those subjects where guys just feel like you should just be "confident" and everything will magically fix itself.

As an over-view, inner-game should make your approaches, interactions, escalation and tonality, as relaxed and natural as possible.

Now, I'm not saying you can't have any self-doubt or wonder something like "Am I escalating too early?". But you should not get that much internal resistance, hesitance or self-doubt when you're in an interaction.

What I will say, is that I think calibration is one of the most important things to having inner-game. And it will help most of your interactions.

Think of it like this...

If you just started driving a manual. The chances are you're going to grind that gear box enough to make your own home made ground coffee beans.

If you were learning by yourself... You're messing around with the clutch... (calibration) and the gears... (how much to escalate), and you'll start learning how to use the clutch in different situations just like cold-approach.

So the more you drive, the more comfortable you get shifting gears on different slopes and surfaces, without stalling (rejecting yourself & hesitation).

And at first you're not sure which technique would work, you're always questioning yourself. But the more comfortable you get, and the more calibrated you are, the smoother your whole driving experience will be.

This is the exact same for learning cold-approach.

The reason why you aren't getting the results you want, is because you have the internal elements of self-doubt, uncertainty, fear of rejection, combined with the external elements of tonality, escalation, conversation and connection.

This is also why new guys focus on the external techniques at first. And then after experience realize it's 90% internal mindsets.

Good "inner-game" will actually look a little bit rough on the outside at times, but for the most part his external elements as I mentioned before, are very balanced and they're flowing with the interaction as opposed to it.

Where techniques also go wrong, is that you're using them and they're disconnected from your personality, sense of humour or normal behaviour.

As opposed to techniques just giving you the right nudge and push when you need to, instead of throwing a bunch of darts at the wall and hoping to hit the target.

Most of this comes from either putting too much pressure on yourself and forcing the interaction, or not having enough clarity of what to do or go within the interaction.

Both of these may seem opposing or contradictory, but they actually compliment each other.

I will be talking more about calibration, inner-game and outer-game more in my group to help your mindset and increase your results in cold-approach, that I'll post down below.

Also, if posting the Facebook Group in the comment section is against the rules, please let me know and give me a warning, as I've tried to reach out to multiple admins to know if I'm breaking the rules with no reply.