Hi, this is my first post on seddit. I was introduced to The Game few months ago, but just recently started to practice it and understand its basics. This is my confession.

The game changed me somewhat. I feel like I lost my old personality, my natural perception of the world, overall joyness. It crushed my romantic expectations and subconscious cult of women as ones who are pure. I've always believed in man-woman friendship, thus making the girls I had good relations with into my friends. I've never progressed from friendship to any sexual relationship.

Seeing as beautiful girls always had someone, and most of the friends formed couples and marriages, I've always justified lack of a GF by "incompatibility of souls" or my own imperfections (that applies also to why at age of 21 I'm still a virgin).

Since The Game was revealed to me, all of that shattered, along with my beliefs and personality. Now I'm trying to glue all good pieces of myself together, relearning stuff I already knew. Instead of having fun during parties I'm analyzing peoples behaviour, seeing what they do, what they say, focusing on all the details. Now I see the game everywhere.

I don't feel natural (which, paradoxaly - ruins my game), yet when I "Play" I feel joyful, cocky and confident. I know it's a one way ticket, and I need to go forward, but deep inside I feel some sort of moral hangover or guilt each evening. I've changed. I will continue to change. But now I truly feel somewhat lost and disoriented.

Today I'm going on another date, and I know it won't be me there.

Just wanted to share. If any of you felt the same please let me know.

And for the lazy ones:

TL;DR: 21y old male, started The Game, internally shattered, personality changes, feels like a guilty fool without a real reason.