How to Banter?

ranchkranch · 2019-12-19T05:57:54+00:00

Kinda hard to give an overall “How To Banter for Dummies” — it’s usually very dependent on the situation and the girl. But I can give you a few examples!

Personally, I don’t get offended easily at all. I’d rather have a guy out-right mock me than have no personality and be completely dry. I’m in college, and in one of my classes, a guy befriended me. He was funny, nice, and I enjoyed his company because I didn’t feel like I had to walk on eggshells with him, and he definitely felt the same way.

I found out he was 2.5 years older than me, so that was a common theme in banter for both of us — he’d refer to me as a youngster, would suggest I wouldn’t know about basic things in life (“do you even know what a whiteboard is? you’re so young...” dumb stuff like that), and I’d refer to him as an old hag, ask him about the good old days, etc etc.
I borrowed a pen from him one day, forgot to give it back, so I texted him a picture of it after class and said “lol i’ll give this to you tomorrow !” He, in good humor, responded that “it’s fine, I’ve just been scratching my notes in with my fingernails, but really, don’t worry about it.”

Long story short: we ended up hanging out once and then making out in his car. Hasn’t happened since (i’m not honestly interested in having a fwb right now and that’s what he was looking for), but we’re still good friends, so you could say it turned out well!

Mostly the most important thing is to read the situation and the person and don’t overthink what’s coming out of your mouth. I was raised in a humorous family where banter and mockery are prevalent and encouraged, so I’ve really just grown up doing it. Practice with friends and it’ll come easily eventually!

ImJustSo · 2019-12-19T12:02:45+00:00

Someone asked this question in a PM, here's my response:

I look at it as bullshitting through a topic to turn any subject, no matter how boring, into a fun discussion. I also use it to flatter in ridiculous ways, or "flirt" with anyone.

First thing that pops into my mind is a conversation I had with a 70+ year old gentleman, in an elevator, about the popularity of different hotel floors. The elevator had maybe 4 others listening to our exchange and laughing through our banter, a couple of them attractive women. I was a valet/bellman for the hotel, they were all guests, and I was returning to the valet stand, after finishing a bell service.

I had just stepped onto the elevator with the other guests already inside. The next floor we picked up the old gentleman. I'm standing next to the buttons and doing my duty to serve, by holding the doors open and pressing the floors that people need.

Me: "Good afternoon, sir!"

Old gentleman: "Isn't it?!"

Me: "It is now. Which floor?"

OG: "This isn't a test, is it? I suppose I'll pick the ground floor, or one, unless you don't call one the ground floor."

Me: "Arguably the most popular floor in any hotel, excellent choice, sir. We call it one in our hotel. I would never put a guest on the ground, but I feel comfortable taking any guest to number one!"

OG: "Wait a minute. There's 5 of us, are we all one?"

Me: "To me? Every guest is number one."

OG: "So why is it you think the first floor is the most popular?"

Me: "Well, to tell you the truth, it's not a fair contest. Number one only got the number one position in popularity, because whether people are coming, or going, they must always pass the first floor."

OG: "Is that why all your windows are so secure? Don't want people to bypass the first floor when they leave the hotel?"

Me: "If they exit the window, they will still arrive on the first floor...."

OG: "Oh man, you got me there. I see what you mean now, I suppose the ground floor would be the most popular."

Me: "The first floor, sir."

OG: "RIGHT! You would never put a guest on the ground, I apologize, I would never imply."

OG: "You know, your restaurants, most of your bars, they're on the first floor. I think you all planned the bottom floor to be number one by putting everything important down there."

Me: "That is slander, sir. Totally baseless accusation."

OG: "Oh yeah? Why's that?"

Me: "Because we put you and every other guest above the first floor. You're the most important thing here. :)"

OG: "Damn. You're good, one of the best."

Me: "You all deserve the best."

Granted, I was at work, and it's my job to be on stage. Still, I enjoy banter, so when I see someone ready to engage in banter, I'm all about it! In this scenario, it gave me a chance to make all of them feel good, important, etc.

miserablesisyphus · 2019-12-19T18:30:33+00:00

I have three brothers and feel this skill is learned in these types of social situations. Because of always competing with my brothers, I became really quick witted and pretty sharp/powerful with words. It took me a while to learn to dial this back with women. Teasing is a way to show intelligence, humor, and confidence. For example, if a woman teases a man for being younger than her an insecure man would make an excuse or get offended. A confident man plays along and teases back e.g. You're old enough to be my mom.

The trick with banter is to play along the same way in which you'd pass a "shit test" -- typically I agree and amplify. E.G. A woman teases me for drinking wine and calls it a girly drink-- I could respond in so many ways "you should see the pink panties I have on. What color are yours, if you're wearing any...?"

Use banter sparingly though. Tease a woman for a bit, then get serious and give her genuine compliment or share something vulnerable with her.

Also, find a way to practice. Go get drinks with guy friends or coworkers and tease them. For example, if you have a coworker that always comes in to work late, when he gets to the bar give him a "ohhh, so you can make it here on time, but not to the office. priorities huh?"

There will be times you tease someone and they get offended. Unless you said something terrible and should apologize just shrug it off. Some people are soft or lack confidence. That's their problem. Just make a note not to get too close with them.

Title	How to Banter?
Author	Ap0c0l3x
Upvotes	18
Comments	6
Date	December 19, 2019 5:03 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ecohrv/how_to_banter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-banter.1486466 https://theredarchive.com/post/1486466

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