How to be comfortable alone?

CFRT31 · 2013-08-23T00:27:39+00:00

I've been listening and posting here for quite a while, I enjoy it very much listening to people's views, habits, etc.

One thing I'd like to share is how I am growing as an individual.

There is a lot that goes on in our brains that we actually quite well know about, but refuse to apply.

My arsenal of self sufficiency, self value goes up almost monthly as I am constantly learning.

Essentially I have created a cyclic habit of self improvement.

Feeling low, depressed, and seeking validation may be a habitual pattern that you will never break until you take great action, a catalyst to break the cycle.

For me, it was two things. I began to nofap, and my second was rock climbing. I began rock climbing about 3 months ago.

The next feeling I am going to describe to you, is my most powerful weapon. It has since brought me great pleasure, knowledge and success in my life.

I'll never forget I was hanging on a V3. I was dead tired, my arms shivering, my elbows locked. I had no energy. I saw the next grab to make it to the top. It seemed impossible. My mind was telling me to give up.

Then, for some reason I remembered the movie blow. With Johnny Depp. There's countless times in the move where he uses the phrase "Fuck it" and goes and does what he has to do. He'll be sitting there thinking about all this shit that can go wrong, like for example when Diego tells him, "Hey Pablo Escobar wants to talk to just you"

He's sitting there shitting his pants letting his thoughts demoralize him and he just says FUCK IT. and goes. He just does it.

I said fuck it and reached for that grab..... I got it, and then I realized how easy it was. I learned the move. Not the move needed to complete the climbing course. The move to conquer the bottle neck of my potential, my weakness.....my mind.

This was the key to being comfortable with myself. A mixture of saying FUCK IT, and taking risks and seeing that I can achieve things, and I will.

There is surely some achievements you have in your life. Do not be humble about them. They are yours. Whether it be getting an A on that hard exam, benching 225 for the first time, or beating a video game.

They are your achievements, and believe it or not they define you. They are your fuel to your persona.

I really hope this helps you my friend.

It may take you years to feel okay, and discovering who you are, but it's a beautiful and fun process, believe me.

FUCK IT.

puaCurveBall · 2013-08-22T20:08:15+00:00

This comes from tackling the underlying false beliefs that give you reason to NOT be comfortable alone.

It is because you base your self worth on some girl validating you? Is it because you don't believe you can have an abundance of women in your life even if a specific girls breaks up with you?

You need to figure this out for yourself, and then deconstruct each reason until you see why it is false.

klukjakobuk · 2013-08-22T20:56:45+00:00

Get busy. Hobbies, self improvement (gym, reading), make money. Get your basic social needs fulfilled by talking to strangers without having an agenda if they happen to be women. Or get a dog. Once you attain inner happiness and smile naturally while also having a lot of time restraints, women will vie for your attention

kingcal · 2013-08-23T02:47:05+00:00

Do you mean physically being alone in a public place or not being in a relationship?

Either way, it boils down to doing things that you enjoy. If you don't like clubs, don't fucking go just because that's where you're "supposed to" go to pick up girls. Do shit you want to do. Get hobbies. Learn some shit you always wanted to know. I had a fair amount of success with women based on the "fake it until you make it" approach, but a lot of it was hollow success. It wasn't until I started doing things for myself that my game got tight.

I quit my job and moved to Seoul. I found an apartment in a fantastic part of the city. I started learning boxing and doing stand up comedy (two things I'd always wanted to do). I drive around the city on my motorcycle just for fun. How does that affect me when I talk to women? I'm not trying to get their validation. I'm already the awesome guy I want to be. I'm looking to include someone else in that, but if she doesn't want to be that person, it won't bother me.

Title	How to be comfortable alone?
Author	CFRT31
Upvotes	5
Comments	11
Date	August 22, 2013 8:02 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1kw9lv/how_to_be_comfortable_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-be-comfortable-alone.1304851 https://theredarchive.com/post/1304851

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