We talk a lot here about "inner game" & being "smooth," but honestly, most guys (myself included) aren't robots. Sometimes the vibe gets weird, u get nervous, or ur body doesn't cooperate.
I wanted to break down a recent night where almost everything went wrong internally, but I still closed because I stuck to a system rather than trying to be "cool."
Here is the analysis of the 3 sticking points most guys fumble & how to handle them.
1: The "Awkward Silence" Trap
I met the girl for a 2nd meet. She was extremely shy/introverted.
Most guys (& me in the past) panic here. We start blabbering to fill the silence because we feel awkward.
I forced myself to hold the vacuum. I stayed 100% silent and calm. I looked at her, smiled, and drank my coffee.
She started fidgeting, fixing her hair, and eventually she broke the silence to seek my validation.
Silence builds tension. Talking releases it. If u want sexual tension, shut up.
2: Handling the "Hard Stop" (LMR)
We moved to a private spot. Things were escalating. But when I went to take her panties off, she grabbed my hand & said, "I don't want to have sex."
Argue logically ("But we r already here...") or apologize & stop completely. Both kill the vibe.
I didn't say a word. I didn't pull away in anger, & I didn't push. I just changed the focus. I moved my hands back to her neck & back. I went back to intense foreplay. I focused on turning her on, not "convincing" her.
5 minutes later, her mood changed. The resistance evaporated.
Don't try to change her mind (logic). Change her mood (emotion).
3: Performance Anxiety (The Real Talk)
This is something guys rarely admit. In the moment, my hands were literally shaking from adrenaline. When it came time to perform, I lost my erection. It was frustrating.
Don't apologize, get embarrassed, put clothes on, leave etc.
I acted like it was the most normal thing in the world. I didn't apologize. I just switched positions, focused on her pleasure (manual/oral), & stayed dominant in my frame. We took a break, ordered food, & I handled the issue (yes, I keep Viagra for emergencies... 0 shame in having a backup plan), & round 2 was flawless.
Ur "vibe" matters more than ur dick. If u don't make it a big deal, she won't make it a big deal.
U don't need to be a "natural" who never gets nervous. U just need to know what to do when the nerves hit.
Silence > Chatter. Mood > Logic. Persistence > Perfection.
If u have a process to fall back on, u can mess up the small details & still get the result.
[–]eyewave 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link