Recently, I have been reading tips on dating and relationship. you would usually come across 2 slightly contradicting tips:

  • Be yourself. Be brave enough to approach. Be the person you truly are and don't be afraid.

or

  • Work on yourself. Start going to gym. Pick up a hobby. Go meet people. Learn the game.

I was pondering about these 2 tips and that's when it hit me: It is not about being yourself. It is about being the best version of yourself. Whenever someone says , be yourself. I think that they mean be the best version of yourself. Don't try to imitate someone else. Just be the best self.

Everyone have their own idea of the best self. Some might think that being a muscular guy is the best self. Someone else might that the best version of themselves would be good at dancing and have a lot of friends. Each individual has a different idea about their best self. But you can't start working on becoming your best self unless you believe that your personality can evolve. It can change. You can mold your personality.

However, the reason you would do this is very important. You should try to be your best self to seek approval or attract other woman. Because seeking approval from other women comes across as needy which is not good. Also, the thing about approval is that it depends upon your social group. For example, if your social group consists of people getting drunk and partying during weekends , they would not approve you being a guy who reads books and relax during weekends. Similar, approval is subjective to the social group you are in. The only approval that matters the most is yourself. If you are ashamed of yourself, then either change yourself or just accept yourself the way you are.

Therefore be your best self because you care about yourself and your own happiness. Getting your chicks should not be your main goal. It should be the byproduct of living your best life and being your best self.