Backstory: 6 months - a year ago I used to be a very socially awkward person with crippling social anxiety. I've gotten a LOT better at socializing over the past year, thanks in part to a few subreddits including this one, and basically just forcing my self out of my comfort zone often. A friend I haven't seen in a year even told me "you've changed so much, you're so social now" which was really refreshing to hear.

But I still can't approach women. Except while on drugs. Namely, alcohol. You all know it. When I'm sober and I want to approach a girl, my mind gives me all these reasons and excuses why I can't and shouldn't do it, and I chicken out. When I'm a little tipsy these inhibitions are eliminated, I truly give zero fucks and my words just flow out with absolutely zero thought. It's nice.

But what I really found amazing was two weeks when I tried socializing while tripping on 2C-B (a synthetic psychedelic). It was a suprisingly lucid trip, and I could articulate my thoughts into words almost perfectly, something I find a little difficult in sober life. Over the course of a day I approached at least 6 different women, and got a # from one, something I've never done before. It felt awesome, but I knew I'd have to force myself to be able to do it while sober.

And now when I try, even though I know I'm capable of approaching, I just can't do it. My mind comes up with all these excuses and the anxiety kicks in and I can't force myself. I'm not even sure what I'm asking with this post.. maybe some of you have experienced the same thing before? Maybe you can help me realize how fucking stupid my predicament is? Shit, I don't know. Here I go anyway.