I need help

Jacob_961 · 2017-05-21T14:25:48+00:00

I got this one handled so listen up.

The way to look at it is that you have 2 types of values, logical and emotional and our brains react to both.

Your logical value is your real value, it's what you have, your intelligence, how much money you got, you genetic make-up, everything that makes you you and no one can take this away from you. You have little control over this especially in the short term.

The other value is emotional, this is fake. Emotional value is not perfectly correlated with real value. A person can be rich, intellegent, good looking and be good to you and you can still dislike the person. It's less likely to happen but emotions aren't perfectly correlated with logic. You can be good to a person and be looked down upon. Alternatively, you can diss a person and have that person respect you more as a result. It doesn't make sense logically but emotions and logic don't mix.

One of the maxims I discovered is that logic functions in the absence of emotions. When you have an emotional goal, it is difficult to achieve it because to get a person to like you does not have a straight path. The same action can have two different and completely opposite reactions depending on how the person feels at that point in time and his/her self concept at that point in time. So to maintain your sanity you drop emotional goals and you focus on logical objectives.

Respect is logical, love is emotional. If I give you respect, you have to show respect as well. Otherwise, we're gonna have a problem. But I cannot force you to like me, it's not a choice. You either like me or you don't but that is not a logical choice. I cannot call you on lack of love, but I can call you on lack of respect. Logical transgressions are punishable, emotional transgressions are not punishable, it makes you look weak. You shouldn't care if people like you or not, you have to be emotionally full inside. A king has need for no one. You don't have to be a king in real terms but emotionally you are a king. You don't need to be filled from an external source and this is empty cup thing PUA instructors try to teach but fail miserably when trying to explain it.

My second maxim that came out of this is ask for behavior not love. Ask for a person's time, not their affection. Emotions are categorized into impulses and reactions but never is it a choice. A girl can be attracted to you but choose not to act on the impulse. Alternatively, she can be not attracted to you and sleep with you. She cannot choose the impulse but she can choose how she responds to it. Emotions and logic don't mix. So for the sake of your sanity you don't ask for love, you ask for behavior and if you get the love, it's a bonus, it's not something that she has control over, it's hard wired.

It's much more difficult to refrain yourself from eating when you feel hungry just as it is difficult to hold yourself when you feel attraction towards someone but in the end, what does it matter if a girl is attracted to you but refuses to sleep with you. How different is it from a girl that is not attracted to you. That is why we focus on behavior and draw logical boundaries. This is a lot of info, consume it at your own pace. Good luck.

ZangieftheRussian · 2017-05-21T12:52:15+00:00

There's a lot of things that you can do: * Therapy * Meditation * Try to start by small interactions such has talking to a cashier when you're out buying bread * Express your feelings to somebody of your entourage ( father, mother, etc..)

On a end note, I know that anxiety sucks, but there's a way out. Don't be too harsh when you make somethign akward, it happens to everybody. Good luck my friend !

shitshingles · 2017-05-21T18:32:46+00:00

Immersion therapy. Just put yourself in the situation until you get comfortable, the more you do something the more normal it becomes. It sounds to me like you get in your own head about being anxious and socially awkward; so it projects itself into your interaction.

Ruckus7299 · 2017-05-21T19:22:25+00:00

Trust yourself and breathe. My heart races all the time mostly before and in the beginning of the interaction. After 10 mins when my brain figures out I'm not gonna die then i calm down. So,long story short show your brain it's ok.

Title	I need help
Author	ys200581
Upvotes	1
Comments	8
Date	May 21, 2017 11:10 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6cg0hf/i_need_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-need-help.1424982 https://theredarchive.com/post/1424982

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