I never come during sex. It's never really that satisfying. Still I crave it for some reason, overvalue it.

That's probably why I have a hard time talking to girls, or strangers in general. I feel like I need them to validate me, even though I'm used to not getting validation by everyone. I know some people who straight up hate me, and I'm fine with that. But the hate or gossip of someone I do not know terrifies me for some reason.

Logically I should be able to talk to everyone. Ones I actually know someone I can blabber on about anything. But the barrier of the unknown brakes my confidence. Smouldering it into nothing. I am unable to take action, my mind blocks my body from completing even the simplest task. Most of the time I can't even hold eye contact. I don't want to be intimidating to anyone, or get beat up by some dude who has a bad day. I've got a resting bitch face. So people generally believe I do not like them. Also, I'm usually pretty cocky at first when I meet people. Another factor to why I fear talking to strangers. I don't want to put them off.

I need to fix my shit, ASAP.