My ex dumped me 4 months ago and we were on/off for the last 3 months and now I'm NC. I'll get into the details why in a bit. When we first met I wasn't needy at all. I wasn't trying to act that way either, it was just who I was when we met. I wasn't needy, didn't give her way too much attention, let her do her thing and everything was great. We were doing pretty well. Then a series of events happened that made her very depressed and having suicidal thoughts (it was really dark place she was in)....so she rightly decided to move back to her parents home and she broke up with me.

I really really liked this girl because we had a connection I never had before in a relationship....I think I truly did love her. So this is where I became super needy...I ended up trying to be there and support her for the first month post-BU solely as a friend, to make sure she didn't do something stupid (and yes, I did want her back but didn't say that). She slowly made progress which was awesome. But I got more and more needy...I would overbear her with my texts/affection. I ended up sending her sappy texts about the good things about her and what I loved about her. I texted her A LOT more than usual. Every interaction was to try and make her happy. Eventually I ended up thinking maybe it was all me getting played and she wanted to go off fucking other guys, even though I knew 100% she was diagnosed with depression months earlier. So 4 months later I became this super needy, untrusting guy, and she doesn't have any feelings of love or attraction to me.

This post isn't about me trying to get her back - that ship has sailed. But I just don't know how I'm supposed to act in that situation if it ever happens again? If I love someone depressed, how can I act supportive yet disinterested/non-caring, how can I try to make them happy without doing it too much (is there a too much?)...I'm extremely confused.

Sorry if this is the wrong sub for it..... It sounded like the best place to ask because when I searched "needy/neediness" I got a lot of old threads from here