If I keep doing the right thing, I will eventually get the girl

hunterpua · 2018-06-27T17:03:21+00:00

Is this an RSD immersion?

Lordfinesse954 · 2018-06-27T17:04:05+00:00

Nice man

recyclablebanthas · 2018-08-18T02:07:26+00:00

Had this ear-marked for comment, but got delayed.... FWIW, a few comments:

1

If I keep doing the right thing, I will eventually get the girl

This almost reads like you're saying, if you're interested in a particular girl, you can get that particular one eventually if you work at it.

This would not be the case, actually. Sometimes it's just not going to be in the cards with a particular girl. Or there might be an expiration date or a limit to how far you can get.

Of course, there's no way to know unless you try, so it's always worthwhile to get in there and find out what's what.

2

I feel like today went better than yesterday. This was due to me caring less about the people surrounding me while I was doing approaches. I was less hestitant and I thought less about if people were staring at me. There are still areas for improvement.

While it's definitely good to not have a sense that people are staring at you, the general idea of "caring less about the people surrounding you," could potentially lead to some less than helpful mindsets if you start heading into territory of trying to be apathetic to people.

3

I noticed whenever approaching a girl that I really like, I would still worry about the people around me; it's as if I feel like I am not allowed to approach her because she is too hot.

You're assuming WAY too much about girls you apparently don't even know yet. There's no way you can really know whether you "like" a girl, until well after you've started talking to her. She might be fucking lame as shit.

And building up your expectations, based mainly on her appearance, only drops your chances, because as you've seen, it turns into this thing where you're caught up in how "hot" she is.

4

This can be fixed by putting myself in this situation more in order to remind myself it's not a big deal. If not this, I could also wait until it is less crowded and then do the approach if it makes me feel more comfortable and relaxed; rushing in is not always the best option.

You fix it, not by forcing yourself in, but by attacking the root of the issue in your mindset. Your premature expectations and assumptions about the girl.

Another helpful thing is to actually plug into the environment you're in, instead of simply doing approaches at strangers, actually be a participating member of the crowd, paying attention to everything going on, and opening organically based on what you're observing.

It doesn't need to be fancy, just showing that you're paying attention is a great opener. Note: I'm not talking about observations like, "Wow, you're hot," but things like, "You seem to be happy with that ice cream," or "What an energetic dog you have there," etc.

5

Another area for improvement is having more of an open body language as girls do not respond as well to you when your arms are folded.

If the girls aren't responding well in this situation, then you're probably putting them off with your opener so that's something that needs to be addressed. Which I offered solutions for in #4.

6

Furthermore, having more purpose and entitlement behind all of my actions from what I say to how I move would have made a bigger different with a couple of approaches that did not go as well.

NO. Acting like you're entitled to anything is a terrible idea. You're not entitled to jack. And acting like you are, would only put off the girl, especially if you're coming in with expectations built up almost solely on her appearance.

And purpose? Again, we're talking about someone you don't even know yet and haven't spoken to before, right? There's no way you really know whether you'd want to see her again, so any purpose beyond curiosity and playfulness, is really putting the cart before the horse. Anyone you talk to is going to tell that you have expectations built up before you even know them, which will be potentially off-putting.

Just back the train up a bit and have a look around. Get to know people before you decide you want a number or sex or whatever. Consider dropping the assumption that you want anything from them beyond getting to know them or sharing an observation about that moment, and things will be more relaxed and you'll find out how cool she is, more easily because she won't be fighting you or immediately turned off so often.

7

Think about it, if you do the right thing to 10-20 girls that you like, at least one of them will end up being with you. Even if it takes a couple of hours, days, weeks, or months, if you keep this up everyday you go out, you will end up with at least one of them.

Nope. If you keep making the same mistakes, you'll keep screening girls out. And practice doesn't make perfect. It makes habit. And if you're starting off with unhelpful mindsets, repetition won't necessarily fix that.

8

I wasn't able to do any two-sets because I didn't find any girls in twos attractive but that's something I'll keep in mind tomorrow. I'll also be going to out earlier in the afternoon to see if it has an effect on results.

Just a thought here; if you're picking and choosing who you interact with, based on this sort of mindset, it can result in an off-putting vibe to other people.

I'd really recommend getting some practice by seeking out groups of people who are regularly meeting up, precisely because they want to meet new people The ice is broken already and it's a good way to get a feel for what solid interactions are supposed to be like.

Hash runs: Trail running + beer + fit people = win
Couchsurfing meets. Hang with travelers and people who like to be around travelers.
Social partner dancing, like Salsa, Lindy Hop, West Coast Swing, Argentine Tango, etc. You really can't go wrong. Learn something fun and have an excuse to be close to a girl in a fun and non-threatening way. (Just respect it as an activity & means of self-improvement first, and place to meet women second.)
Download the Meet-up app. Scan for groups near you that you share an interest with.
Do a Facebook search for your city/town/area. Look under the Groups and Events tabs. Or you might search your city + some activity you're specifically interested in.

Title	If I keep doing the right thing, I will eventually get the girl
Author	ashhennessy
Upvotes	7
Comments	5
Date	June 26, 2018 10:04 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8u45zd/if_i_keep_doing_the_right_thing_i_will_eventually/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/if-i-keep-doing-the-right-thing-i-will-eventually.1448839 https://theredarchive.com/post/1448839

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