I'm asking about 25+ folks who don't necessarily want a conventional relationship. And especially the type who thinks they're not able to offer that (either from social difficulty, past emotional damage, simply being super-introverted or some combination) but still have normal desire. It's a real conundrum, man.

So I'm here to ask, how do you manage all the contradictions, mixed-messages and all the inherent frustration?

Side note: I really don't want this thread to become a gender-war with one side saying one thing, and then a counter-argument, and then moralizing, and so on. I'm not trying to judge this outlook, or any other, you see.

Personally, I'm someone who has extremely low odds for everything in the scene, and I'm even going to admit I don't really want the kind of "traditional relationship" everyone says I'm supposed to want. But, before you judge, I have my own reasoning for this... and I can say none of my it has ever been about manipulating, deceiving, or treating someone as an object. I'm not trying to emulate sleazy PUA tactics, whatever they might be.

The crux of the problem is this: I'm an autistic guy and an introvert. I don't believe I'm capable of handling the complex social/emotional demands of a serious relationship, but at the same time, I am not without desire. I think the PC thing is to claim otherwise, but then this thread would be misleading.

For other folks who feel similar (whether autistic, or not) how have you managed this dilemma? Do you feel "immoral" or ashamed to have this outlook?

You see with online dating, if you don't include "wants a longterm relationship" already you're nearly going to be ignored.

But if you say you want things you don't want or cannot provide, then it's dishonest.

What do you folks think? (But please without the moralizing, there are better places to debate that.)