In some of the comments that I have seen in this forum its super common for people to immediately dismiss suggestions/advice based on the belief that looks are the most important thing when it comes to attraction. As many of you already know, this is not necessarily true. Attraction is far more complex than that. In fact, I would go as far as to say that improving ones looks is the easiest part. However, for the ones that insist that you must be a six foot tall Greek god, here are some tips that will help you to present the best version of yourself to people. This list consists of information that I found in various books, research papers, videos, studies etc. on general attraction. Some of the books are listed below for reference as well- I am only including seduction related books because of the topic of this forum but will tell you that basically all self help books provide the same advice as it relates to improving yourself or becoming more magnetic.

Attraction in General: Attraction is relative. While it’s certainly true that factors such as height and physical attractiveness do help, they are not as important as we men believe them to be due to our own insecurities. Yes, I know that women posting stuff online about a man needing to be 6 foot plus to get their attention does not help either. However, this is not the norm and keep in mind that attraction is relative so you are being compared to thousands of other men online. Moreover, when it comes to online dating, woman can be pickier due to the law of abundance. Fact is that online does not represent reality. Thank god for that because the average height for men in the US is between 5’7-5’9. As far as natural physical attractiveness, it’s not as common and that’s precisely why we value it (law of scarcity) when we see it.

What we do have is lots of people that know how to make themselves more attractive. For the most part, these people are woman though. Woman are trained from early age on how to dress, flirt, attract and to a certain extent persuade men using their femininity. They have so many resources when it comes to this topic. We as men are not as lucky and have little out there to help us become well rounded men.

For men, many times the advice that we receive from others has been contaminated by personal bias or as a result of the person’s interpretation based on anecdotal evidence. In general, we are typically presented with two polar opposites. There is the nice guy that your mom told you to be or the jerk that your dad was, according to mom. In reality, you have to balance the two archetypes.

For the purpose of this post, we will stick to what makes a man visually attractive to the opposite sex. However, I have to emphasize that this is just the initial attraction. Maintaining attraction is the hard part and something that I may share in another post.

From strictly a visual level, all these things contribute to your overall attractiveness:

Height: There is no getting around it. From a biological standpoint, the taller you are, the more attractive you appear to others. Not just woman. When one is taller, it makes many woman feel safe and protected. These feelings then translate to feeling petite and feminine. Taller men have easier success getting woman and in general do better than shorter men. Again, being taller helps you with attraction but that alone will not sustain attraction.

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  • Tips for Fellow Shorties: If you are height challenged, there are some things you can do to help you appear taller. These include wearing boots (very masculine), hairstyles that add volume to your hair and color combinations or even monochromatic cloths. Standing up straight and having your cloths well-tailored such as a correct pant break helps too. You do not want to look like you are wearing your older brother’s clothes as this makes you look shorter.

Physical Attractiveness: Same as height, the reality is that the more naturally attractive you are, the easier it is to get woman. However, just like height, this is finite when it comes to attraction. So attractive does not mean you will keep them interested with that alone. Some of the things you can do to make you more attractive include:

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  • Diet & Exercise: You don’t need to be Arnold or Brad Pitt in Troy. You just need to show that you care about your body and take care of it. A fit body translates to a fit mind. Additionally, it results in having better posture which then transforms to exuding confidence. Having an unfit body says you are lazy, lack discipline and unmotivated.

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  • Body Language: Body language is maybe the most important thing that you can improve on in order to increase and read attraction.
    • Creating Attraction: Positive body language includes standing up straight with your chest out. Keeping your feet shoulder width apart and keeping those hands outside of your pocket (You could be cold or hiding something). If you must put your hands somewhere, put them at your waist. This posture has been scientifically proven to help increase confidence. Avoid crossing your arms or putting your hands in your pocket as this signals that you are closed to interacting with others. If holding a drink, keep it as your side since this looks more relaxed. If holding your cell phone, keep it at a distance and avoid hunching over it. When sitting down, it’s perfectly okay to take space. Yes, that means manspreading. Just sit back and relax as if you are sitting back home. Do not cross your legs as this is feminine. When shaking a person’s hand, have a nice medium handshake and maybe tap the person’s shoulder or elbow for a second. Always make eye contact. Failure to do so gestures weakness. Look into their eyes enough to realize their eye color in order to create a micro expression. Solid eye contact builds attraction tremendously. Avoid smiling so much as it has been proven that a stoic man is more attractive than one that is smiling. I don’t know about you but when I see someone smiling for no real reason, I don’t trust them and wonder what they are trying to sell me. If you must smile, you can create a more sincere smile by pushing the tip of your tongue into your teeth. Another tip relating to the tongue is mewing (Google it). Where you rest your tongue in your mouth affects your breathing and potentially changes your facial structure.
    • Reading Attraction: When someone is enjoying your company, their feet will typically point towards you (they want to leave, their feet point away or they place an object between you). When someone likes you, there is a slight tilt to their head when they first great you. As a measurement of arousal, woman’s lips begin to plump, pupils become dilated and cheeks may gain color. When they want you to kiss them, they may look at your eyes followed by your lips. A soft touch to the chin may help provide you more visual queues.

There are a ton of other tips related to body language but that could be its own post. As you likely already guessed, this is the topic that fascinates me the most.

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  • Hairstyles: Find a haircut that goes with the shape of your face. Studies show that woman prefer men with short to medium hair as these are considered masculine. If you are going bald, shave your head. While you do not have control over your hair loss, you take control by shaving your head and that signals decisiveness to woman, which again is very attractive.

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  • Facial Hair: Studies show that men and woman find men with beards to be more attractive. Facial hair not only projects mainlines but virility and other biologically related queues. The key to facial hair is to keep it well groomed. It cannot be too short or too long. Facial hair helps to hide double chins and shapes a man’s face much like makeup contouring does for women. Facial hair has been the thing most people compliment about me.

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  • Grooming: Proper hygiene and grooming is a must. This includes showering (shampoo only once per week. More than that contributes to hair loss) and brushing your teeth daily, removing ear wax, getting routine haircuts, shaving and smelling good in general. It’s important that you extend your grooming to your privates and armpits too. Don’t forget your nose hairs, ears or unibrow either. Leave the hair on your chest if you have it but for sure shave back hair. When going out, always carry mints with you. Having bad breath is a major and instant turn off for woman. Especially when you approach them. It can instantly kill attraction no matter how good looking you are. Taking good care of yourself signals a woman that you love yourself and can take care of them as well. Not to mention that since woman put a lot an effort to their own grooming, they instantly notice this in potential partners.

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  • Scent: On the topic of scent, this in general provokes so many positive feelings, creates attraction and memory anchors. Don’t be surprised if a girl comments afterwards how they can still smell you on them and this then invokes all these positive feelings associated with you. Some woman may even insist on keeping your shirt so they can remember you. While out an about, if they encounter someone wearing your cologne, this instantly reminds them of you. Find yourself a cologne that fits your personality and apply no more than four to five sprays. One to each side of your neck and each side of your clavicle and finish it off with the back of your head. You are creating a personal bubble but one that it not overpowering. In addition, smelling good makes you feel more confident and as a result, your body language and posture naturally reflects that too. Some recommendations for colognes are:

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  • Dior Savage
  • Blue de Chanel
  • Valentino Uomo Intense
  • Jean Paul Gaultier Ultra Male

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  • Clothing: Bottom line is that cloths make the man and this topic too can be its own post. One of the first things that woman look at is a man’s shoes. Get some nice shoes such as Chelsea boots, Chukkas boots, combat boots etc. For a dressier look, maybe some nice dual monk strap shoes or wingtips. For a nice casual look, wear some all-white sneakers. Things like a well-fitting suits have the same effect on woman as lingerie does on men. Certain outfits and combinations summon specific feelings in people. That is not to say that you have to wear expensive clothes or spend a ton of money on clothing. What you do have to do is carefully procure your outfits. One of the key items in a man’s wardrobe should be a nice leather jacket. Leather itself summons so many feelings and emotions in woman such as sexy and dangerous. If you can’t afford a real leather jacket, you can get a nice trucker jacket or Harrington jacket which are good statement pieces. Having some nice slim fit (not skinny) jeans such as dark wash, black, gray or white are a staple. Whatever cloths you decide on, get them tailored. Above all, they must fit you well. Not too tight and not too loose. Being able to mix colors, fabrics and textures correctly is crucial to looking great. If you are more a t shirt and jeans guy, you can dress the outfit up by using some of the accessories shown below. You can kick up the t shirt by replacing it with a Henley or v neck for an additional hint of manliness. Studies have shown that a white t shirt with jeans is very attractive to woman. In addition, the sexiest color is black so when going on a date, put together a nice all black outfit. The second sexiest color is red as this radiates confidence. Maybe wear a splash of red when the opportunity rises? If you have long sleeves, roll them up as woman find a man’s forearms super sexy. If you are a little on the heavier side, try layering your cloths to hide the love handles and man boobs while you work on your fitness. Layering itself is an art form, one which woman are very aware of themselves.

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  • Accessories: If you don’t have one, get a watch or two. They don’t have to be expensive. Combine this with other accessories such as bracelets, necklaces and rings to kick up your outfit. Please just don’t go crazy though by wearing lots of bracelets and necklaces at the same time. Get some nice sunglasses that fit your face well to finish off the outfit. Some accessories not only make you look very manly but become talking points during interactions. Other accessories can include having a nice Zippo lighter, pen or pocket knife for when the opportunities come up. Having a tool ready for the job is very sexy and adds to your manliness factor. In summary, all these combine to make you look very well put together. If you ever end up giving your necklace to a girl, they’ll cherish it greatly and it serves as a trigger/anchor to remember you afterwards. Just looking at it creates all these feelings and emotions when the attraction is strong.

Again, being attractive is much more than just looks. It’s not uncommon for woman to say, that guy is not usually what they are attracted to but there is something about that person. This is sometimes referred to as "je ne sais quoi". I have even heard woman say, “man that dude is ugly but he dresses so dam good” and feel confused due to the attraction they feel. As a final point about attraction being complex, let’s talk about the Decoy Effect.

At the beginning of this post I mentioned that attraction is relative. For example, let’s say that you are at a bar where there are tons of average looking dudes and a few hot guys. Because you understand attraction, you put some extra effort into looking nice while all your friends continue to look average. When a girl sees you in a group, even though you are not the most attractive man in the bar, you are the most attractive one in the group. That’s kind of a no brainier though.

Here is the kicker. You and a similar looking friend are standing next to each other at the bar. As in the prior example, they did not put much effort into how they presented themselves that night but on a physical level, you look about the same. Suddenly, next to you comes a person that again, on a strictly physical level, is slightly more attractive than you. Although you would think that person is now the most attractive in the group, the fact you have a friend that kind of looks like you but not as well put together, makes you the most attractive in the group. This is due to what is known as the Decoy Effect. Dont take my word on this but instead research the Decoy Effect.

That is pretty much all that I can think of for the moment. As promised, listed below are some of the books from which I gathered information on the attraction.

General Attraction/Seduction: These books are directly seduction related. Although they specifically relate to the attracting the opposite sex, much of the information included is what is found in various self-help books. It’s just repackaged for the specific purpose of attracting women. I believe that these books provide a great overview of the philosophy behind attraction and do a great job at explaining the theory behind concepts.

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  • Atomic Attraction: The Psychology of Attraction
  • Models: Attract Women Through Honesty
  • The Art of Seduction: An Indispensable Primer on the Ultimate Form of Power
  • Red Knight: The Thinking Man’s Blueprint to Masculinity, Sexual Confidence & Becoming Irresistible to Woman
  • The Natural: How to Effortlessly Attract the Woman You Want
  • The Natural Pick Up Artist: Bulletproof Seduction
  • What Woman Want When They Test Men: How to Decode Female Behavior, Pass a Woman’s Test and Attract Through Authenticity
  • Get Inside Her: The Female Perspective: Dirty Secrets from a Woman on How to Attract Seduce and Get Any Female You Wan
  • What Woman Want in a Man: How to Become the Alpha Make Women Respect, Desire and Want to Submit to
  • The Man’s Guide to Woman: Scientifically Proven Secrets from the Love Lab About What Women Really Want
  • The Tactical Guide to Woman: How Men Can Manage Risk in Dating & Marriage
  • The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Woman Into Bed
  • The Noble Art of Seducing Women: My Foolproof Guide to Pulling Any Woman You Want
  • The Mind Games Women Play on Men
  • The Game: Penetrating the Secrets of Pickup Artist
  • How to Be a 3% Man
  • Bang: More Lays in 60 Days
  • Bang: How to Casually Pick up Girls During the Day

Attraction How To: Once you have read a book or two from the General Attraction/Seduction section you are ready to learn what it looks like in action. The books below provide a more specific outline without necessarily diving deep in to the theory behind these concepts like some of the others books in the General Attraction/Seduction section do.

  • The Dating Playbook for Men: A Proven 7 Step System to Go From Single to The Woman of Your Dreams
  • The Men’s Guide to Tinder: The Essential Manual for Tinder, Dating & Hookups
  • Online Dating: Master the Art of Internet Dating: Create the Best Profile, Choose the Right Pictures, Communication Advice, Finding What You are Looking for and Finding Love
  • TextAppeal for Guys: The Ultimate Texting Guide
  • Texting Titan: 120 Tips to Avoid Mistakes & Become More Attractive When Texting Woman
  • Seduce Her with Text: The Gentleman’s Guide to Texting Her All the Way to the Bedroom
  • The Alpha Male’s Guide to Mastering the Art of Body Language
  • Conversation Casanova: How to Effortlessly Start Conversations and Flirt Like a Pro
  • Bad Boy vs Nice Guy
  • The Psychology of Seduction: Being the Alpha Male
  • 99 Bad Boy Traits That Instantly Attract Women
  • Alpha Male Confidence: The Psychology of Attraction