Thought I'd share a strategy/approach/self-help delusion that I've found useful. It's not aimed at anyone looking to just get laid but for people interested in building their general sociability and confidence, or looking for more durable interactions.

So I'm a late 30's a guy that's sociable, playful, enjoys sarcastic banter but when I'm around someone I find super attractive and that oh-so-helpful urge to suddenly IMPRESS them raises it's ugly head, I sometimes turn into a rubber-lipped, bumbling teenager again. Perhaps we're all the little bit that way.

The approach I like to use is to reframe my self perception and engage in the interaction with the person with the intent of 'friendzoning' them. Almost as important, I go in being totally open to the possibility of being friendzoned in return. After all, not everyone is gonna be your type but making friends and social networking is a good attitude to have. I've found adopting mental frames around acceptance and not pushing for any particular outcome are vital for being in the moment and having the most enjoyable encounters (with anyone).

Of course, it can be easier said than done and the strong instinct to do a monkey mating dance can be hard to alter. In those cases, by all means use whatever tricks you have up your sleeve to build rapport, value, etc but DON'T do anything at the expense of your authenticity and comfort. Or theirs. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that we humans will gravitate towards comfort and the familiar before anything else, even if we lose something better.

Some of you may be thinking "but how do I realise my potential if I never step out of my comfort zone?" No, step out of your comfort zone. Keep doing it. What I'm saying is don't get so uncomfortable that you start making others feel the same way. Bring your comfort baseline with you into the discomfort. Reframe your inner game with acceptance to improve your durability. Not all 'delusions' are bad.

Lastly remember, life is a game. Best played with friends :)