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[–]DontWorryBeHappyMan 5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Sounds like you’re already in friend zone territory buddy. Let me put it this way, all the girls that I’ve messed around with, it happened on the first day we met. They liked me, I like them, we fooled around almost immediately. None of this talking and watching movies for weeks. Furthermore,why do you need to ask her out, you’re already going to her room , thats where you’re likely to fuck her anyways. If it was gonna happen it would have already happened.
You’re in the dreaded friend zone my man.
[–]TheXXL 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed on most points but this "If it was gonna happen it would have already happened.". Things don't just happen, one party has to actively do something until anything happens.
[–]Mulkonim -1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thank you for the input. While i do recognize that it usually happens right away, I was not sure if it was too late, and it seems like it is not completely lost. The reason it has not already happened is because I did not make a move yet, we still are flirty but I can tell it is dying down somewhat, so I want to act before the point of no return hits, because I feel like she still shows interest.
[–]Obwalden 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just fucking ask her about it or make a move
[–]Kjohn1990 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Girls attraction level towards guys is at its peak when they just meet you and like you but don’t really know everything about you yet. The mystery causes appeal. When you start hanging out every night and telling each other everything and fall into predictable routines quickly there is no more mystery and appeal to her. She knows you, what you’re about and what you have to offer. It’s not necessarily bad and all doom and gloom but now somebody else that she has a mild interest in but hasn’t hung out with a lot yet will be more attractive to her. This is why it’s important to bring things along slowly to build attraction and anticipation.
I recently did this with a great girl myself. Cold approached her and took her out and she was super super into me and everything was going great. But I was really into her and instead of keeping my composure I pushed things too fast and we texted way too often and went out to close together then all of a sudden the attraction kinda faded before we even got started, she used to hit me up randomly and be very interested, now it takes a day or two for her to get back to me. Always build slowly and make her wonder about you.
[–]Mulkonim 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you for the thoughts, what you said makes sense and I guess I fucked up the strategy, but is it too late? There aren't really any other guys trying to pursue her, none that I know of at least, and any guy she is friends/knows of at the moment she is not interested in like that. What I am trying to get at here is, In my eyes I seem like the most probable one she would go with, if that makes sense. Our school is not that big either so the odds of some other guy meeting her is not likely.
It literally has been less than a month, plus spring break is coming up so that would be almost two weeks without her seeing me, should I wait till after, or should I make a move now, and let her think about it all Spring Break with the hopes it would increase attraction when we get back?
[–]StankFangerz 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Better late than never. Put your nuts on the table and find out boi
[–]Mulkonim 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I will do that, thank you.
[–]StankFangerz 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For sure dude, I've been in that situation before and never said anything and I always wished I tried. Give it a shot. It's worth it
[–]TheXXL 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well... Not friend zoned per say... But if you were to tell her you love her you'd creep her out. You might be able to turn things around by becoming more sexual and harder to get, but you'd have to risk something and it's a pretty long and hard journey to that territory.
I was not planning on telling her I loved her. I was thinking about taking the approach of "I like you, I think you're cute, why don't we go get something to eat Saturday just the two of us?" Thoughts on that? Also I think I can be more sexual but if I feel like I can't play the harder to get route.
[–]Kjohn1990 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It’s not necessarily too late but if I were you I would take a little bit of a step back in order to maybe take 2 steps forward. Stop going to her room every night and always being available and doing predictable routines. She needs to wonder both about you personally and where she stands with you. Also just curious, what are you hoping to do if you ask her out? When I ask a girl out it’s to go for a drink or food with her or chill with her at her place or mine but it seems like you already do that sort of regularly with her so what could you do with her that would feel different or special and heighten the relationship and show her more value than you’ve already been providing?
[–]Mulkonim 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I think I might do that, not go to her room every night. What if she asks me about it though? Like if she goes "Why didn't you come over last night?" would a response like "Did you miss me?" be good? Just trying to cover all my bases here.
With regards to the going out part, I never really thought about that. I think what would make it different is just us two going out, usually when we go out its with a group. So like we can go out, get food, maybe go bowling or something (shes shown interest in doing that) and then go back to her room, and instead of just chilling I would try and make a move, try and cuddle with her, maybe kiss? What are your thoughts on that approach?
[–]Kjohn1990 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If she asks you about it just say something like I was busy/tired/doing my own thing and then add why did you miss me. You don’t need to give specifics. Plus it’s a good alpha answer, “I was busy doing my own thing, why did you miss me” what you’re doing there is placing higher value in yourself and your time then her. Might seem counter productive on the surface but trust me it matters, she needs to look up to you. As for the going out that all sounds great. But if she does agree to go out with just you and you guys are having a good time and she’s smiling and laughing and what not... don’t maybe go for the kiss or move, absolutely do it! If she’s taken the time to do that with you she is interested and wants it, girls won’t just come out and say it so you need to man up and make it happen.
Thanks for the advice, this helps a lot and I will definitely do this. I'll update when I get new info and have anything else to share.
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[–]DontWorryBeHappyMan 5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheXXL 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mulkonim -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Obwalden 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kjohn1990 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Mulkonim 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]StankFangerz 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mulkonim 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]StankFangerz 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheXXL 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Mulkonim 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kjohn1990 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mulkonim 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kjohn1990 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Mulkonim 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link