Isolating people in school

SublimeScholar · 2017-10-13T03:18:14+00:00

Befriending a member of a group, then meeting the rest of the group is one way to go. You can also approach the group as a whole and hang out with them. Social calibration is important- the timing and situation must be right.

At social events like parties or cookouts, find a way to confidently and boldly enter. If they're standing around, just introduce yourself to them all, be entertaining to them. If they're arguing, become a neutral third party that each side wants to convince that they are right. If you have access to a cool party or special event they're interested in, hook them up, etc.

1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v · 2017-10-13T16:32:52+00:00

For example,I'll exhange jokes and small talk

You are not asking the right questions, to allow you to build an emotional bond with the person you are talking to.

This book is a great place to start:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People

Simply said, you want to ask people about themselves... people love to talk about themselves, and if you can make people feel good about themselves... they will love you for it.

When talking to someone you want to bond with, these questions are your friends:

WHAT do you like about that?
WHAT made you want that?
WHAT scares you about that?

Essentially any question that uncovers “What makes you feel that way?” or “What makes you think that way?”

[WHAT tends to work better than WHY because WHAT feels like you’re curious and WHY can sometimes feel like an attack. “WHY do you like that?" “Because I do. What's your problem?!"]

Now... You don’t just listen to respond. You listen to understand. You go deeper.

• Offer your own emotional information • AND dig for their emotional information.

Keep digging until you understand their way of thinking. Until you feel the emotion they’re talking about. Then show them that you understand by sharing a similar experience of your own.

When you share a story of your own with a similar emotional feeling, they know you have felt the same thing about something as them. This is how the bond starts to get created between people.

Title	Isolating people in school
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	31
Comments	5
Date	October 13, 2017 1:22 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/761j48/isolating_people_in_school/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/isolating-people-in-school.1435175 https://theredarchive.com/post/1435175

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