I will go directly to the point. There was a point in my life a couple years ago where I was on top, I had managed to become an assertive, dominant, confident and self-assured man. But more than that I had drive, an impulse in my life that managed to have a positive feedback, I got shit done and because of that I wanted to do more and aspired to do more, and once I did that I wanted even more. It felt like "movement", "life", "alpha", (personally I prefer the term "dominant" to alpha/beta, but you get the idea).

I felt like a god damn man, and the response on the opposite sex was as what you'd expect to be towards a "Man". A real man, not the politically correct estrogen-corrected current version of a man.

I was happy, and because of that I had no problem being relaxed and Dominant on any interaction and managing to achieve that effortless flow or "vibe" with almost anyone almost anywhere and being constantly "in the zone".

Then after a string of isolation and something that might be a period of mild depression, I've become another version of myself. One I don't like and one that I know it's not the best I could be.

Second guessing, quiet, "stuck", "buried", almost "caged". I'm just not the best myself.

Sometimes I go back for a while and become the version I used to be and behave like in "social god" mode. But it happens rarely and is more a product of waking up feeling suddenly extremely happy with life.

I want to be that man again, to be the best version of myself.

That's why I ask YOU;

Do you feel at any level identified with either of those "states"? Does anyone have any input or resources or anything relating about being the better man you can be and getting into that mindset? Do you have any related/similar experience? How do you feed your Drive? "life force" if you will?

I'm sorry that this reads like an attempt at attention whoring, but this is the best way I can get the point across, by using a personal point of view. And by taking advantage of the degree of anonymity here, I also hope to elicit the "hey I feel identified with some of this" response from someone.