"Kill Nice Guy with Fire" guide for men (from r/AskWomen)

DivineIntervention · 2012-05-29T03:13:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Bout_It_Bout_It · 2012-05-29T00:51:36+00:00

Some obvious, some wrong. If you are calling Nice guy behaviour manipulative, you might as well call all of human behaviour manipulative.

Objectification? I hate this word. Or rather the concept that it is some great evil. It is a meaningless buzz word. Objectification, as it is defined is simply unavoidable, in all aspects of life. All lovers at some point project their fantasies onto another, so i do not see how the Nice Guy (tm) is any different.

Dishonesty? Not necessarily. People like doing stuff for people they like. It does not have to mean that they expect something in return. This is casting normal behaviour as something darker.

It doesn't work? Again, not true. Many friends fall in love in this exact same way. Awkward, fumbly love. And this:

Even if you insist on having some sort of mathematical formula for "women like X, Y and Z so if I do that, I'll get laid"

Is once again casting a harmless action (doing something nice for someone you like) in the most negative way possible. Also, i doubt most Nice Guys think they have a "fomula".

"Ugh, women always end up dating douches". I agree with this one, but it is obvious.

Passiveness. Is passiveness a characteristic of the Nice Guy? I wouldn't be so sure. Anyway.

I am nice? Does it necessarily mean you do not have a personality? Seems like a doubtful conclusion.

Geez, i'm tired. To me, this sounds like a lot of speculation and pop psychology which is complicating what is a simple matter, that some people are shy/non assertive. What sort of advice is "don't pine"? "realise there is no manual to women"? Also, being frustrated and feeling like you are "owed" are not the same thing.

Sidenote: Asking women for advice on women? Take everything with a grain of salt. People will always give answers that make themselves look better. Also, any advice on reddit is to be to taken with a grain of salt anyway, especially on a PC topic. You will receive a lot of "appropriate" answers, sort of like this one.

Want to kill the Nice Guy? Watch a guy you are certain is not one, see where his behaviour in this aspect diverges with yours, adjust accordingly and vary adjustment depending on what you are comfortable with. Stick to it.

To me this is as practical as advice gets. Watch, learn, repeat. Keep what works, discard what doesn't until you get comfortable.You will also learn to observe yourself as you interact if you do this- something a lot of people lack.

puaCurveBall · 2012-05-29T01:26:22+00:00

For all the advice in the community advising how NOT to be a nice guy, I have never found anything that explains how to be anything else. If I'm not a nice guy, then the next option is the asshole. People say the asshole isn't good either, so they say be a "good guy, with confidence". A good guy with confidence, that doesn't care what others think is not really any different then a nice guy anyways. I'd rather just be an asshole, but I can't figure out how to add sexuality to it, and just end up coming off as just being mean.

Title	"Kill Nice Guy with Fire" guide for men (from r/AskWomen)
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	10
Comments	17
Date	May 28, 2012 11:59 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/u9h35/kill_nice_guy_with_fire_guide_for_men_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/kill-nice-guy-with-fire-guide-for-men-from.1333314 https://theredarchive.com/post/1333314

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