June 3, 2018 2:30PM

Resisted to wake up early to go to morning yoga because my body was already sore for working out all week. Battled my thoughts for 30mins debating if I should go or not (total waste of mental energy). My intention for waking up for this class was due to the teacher, Peter (fake name). Externally, he has the classic good white guy looks and fit/tone but not bulk and a very nice pleasing smile. But that is not his most attractive trait. Peter was a complete natural. I don't know if what he does consciously not, but he is a really smooth social person. I think he's a 'nice guy' at heart, but when he hangs out in the lounge, he usually has complete control of the group/room. Flowing seamlessly from listener to being listened to, from emotion to emotion, laughter to serious discussion. Not sure if he learned this at some point, but his energy is very~~~ present and calm. One of the key things I am attracted to him as an 'indirect mentor' is his tonality. Low, Deep, Loud, Clear, Super Well Projected, Pure Intention.

So for these reasons, my intention is to take more of his classes and hopefully learn some nuances from him through osmosis. (I could be approaching this wrong, correct me if I am)

Anyhow, managed to override my resistance and make it to the studio. Listening to my body, (not my EGO) didn't over push myself and I'm super glad I made it. Feeling very zen right now.

During the class, there was one MILF beside me that was super hot and she knows it. My RAS and thoughts were split between meditation, how to get my shit in life together and this woman. I would take glances at her every chance I got between poses. I managed to finish the class in a nice relatively present state.

However, I noticed I was highly judgemental of her. Because I come regularly, I pretty much recognize over 80% of faces in classes. I did not recognize this woman though. I'm not sure why (help me here guys), but my ego rushed to find reasons why she was here. Thoughts that came to mind include, "Damn, she's hot, she's toned, nice ass, nice body, nice natural tits", "Why is she using so much face makeup for a hot yoga class?", "She must be here for the same reason here as I am, Peter, that stud".

After class, me and the MILF were actually sitting beside each other at the tea lounge, but I didn't open. My attention was more focused on chatting with Peter, catching up, gaining any social exp as I can since I'm level 0. At some point, I noticed that we both ran out of things to say. This happens to me a lot. I run out of things to share and people run out of things to share with me. Why is that? (Perhaps my vibe is too dense? How do I lighten up?).

When I left the studio, this MILF opened me instead. I'm surprised, wondering why this hot milf would chat me up but w/e I'll take it. (I only remember this conversation in pieces, I was not present with her and my RAS was racing between each response).

She did most of the talking about herself. We quickly chatted over a bunch of small talk like, "Did you enjoy the class?", "When are you normally here?", "Who else do you come for?".

Specifically, she asked if I did MMA. I said no, why you ask?. She then proceeded to tell me about her gym that she goes pretty much everyday after her day job as a teacher (could have made a joke here about how no student of hers could ever pay attneiton). She told me to come check it out, its a great workout, not even tough guys can handle it, etc etc. Long story shot, she told me that if I sign up after the free class, she gets a free month at that gym. "Ah..! So that's why you were asking me!". I was disappointed. Sellers open. Oh well.

I could have made better use of that interaction by creating my own frame, instead of letting her flow with hers. Did my own self-doubts create a self-fulfilling prophecy??

End of entry.

Feel free to point out my mistakes or simply learn from my entry