https://imgur.com/FRHnz0t

Wassup homies, for my first ever post I decided to tell you the story of my first ever date (19M), that just happened today, and share the lessons I've learned from it.

-Context:

Me and this girl (18F, good looking and great personality) met a year ago in a drama course. There was definitly some ambiguity between me and her, but she lived too far for me to consider making a move and try to build a relationship. We did not message each other until yesterday

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-Pre-date:

Yesterday, I saw on IG that she was moving to my city (big one). I figured it was the right occasion to "show her around". I just asked her what she was doing there, we chatted a bit, I did some light flirting (to let her guess my intentions) and she straight up asked if I wanted to meet her again. Ka-shing!!! That was too easy, she was eating out of the palm of my hand. I took charge of organising the date and we met the day after

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-The date:

I met her in said city and took her to eat an ice cream. Then I took her to a really cool and romantic park where chilled on a bench for a good hour. We had some good chatting, she seemed receptive to my light teasing, touching, eye contact, you know the deal... At this point, things are going very well.

Then, as we are walking, towards the end of the date, I had to try a move. With the classical, real smooth "let's compare the size of our hands" technique, I tried to get to hold her hand. She backed off by saying that it wasn't safe with the Covid-19, because she had to see some of her vunerable familly the day after actually a pretty smooth dodge from her, ngl. It wasn't really awkward and slightly plausible so I didn't think it wasn't much of a deal. The date resumed and it was still going well, we talked about seing us again. She even asked my number. As we were walking to her home, to end the date, she asked me if I wanted to check out her place. I obviously accepted. I knew there wasn't any sexy intentions behind this proposition, but I actually wanted to see her place (I mostly wanted to take a piss tho). I stayed for a good 5 minutes, but then I have to go because she's got to call someone. We said goodbye and told ourselves we should go out again sometimes.

-Post date:

As I was leaving her street, I felt something was a bit off. Sure I didn't close with hand holding or kissing, but she looked very eager to see me again. That's when shit hits the fan. I get a text for her telling me that she actually has a boyfriend and that's why she was distant with the handholding.

Real bruh moment

I stayed cool about it and told her it was a cool afternoon anyway

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TL,DR: Date goes well, girl is interested, handholding fails, she tells me she has a boyfriend afterwards.

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Now it's time for the lessons learned Bois

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Outer game:

  • -Make your intentions OBVIOUS: I should have been a bit more obvious with the flirting pre-date. Just because she responds positively (or very positively in my case, like asking to meet) to your texts doesn't mean she's into you. So in all case, before choosing to meet MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS YOUR INTENTIONS. This will avoid you some nasty surprises even if it looks obvious to you (honestly what kind of friend takes you on this kind of afternoon, with all the flirting involved). In my case, she had to wait for me to try holding her hand before noticing that maybe it wasn't just about being friends

That brings me up to my next point

  • -With inexperienced girls come unexpected reactions: You should stay on you guard when dating less experienced girl before you say it, yep I am still unexperienced with this kind of dating yet, but I have some experience in nightime seduction. . Don't expect them to react as planned. The girl actually told me afterwards that she didn't know how to react after my handholding fail. Hence the fact that she still asked for my number
  • -Be careful about mixed signals: this means that shouldn't take every fail for an actual defeat In dating there is actually no real defeat, but I'll come back to this later. The other way around, just because everything seems to work fine doesn't mean you shouldn't take it for granted. Stay steady on your feet and watch for every one of her reactions.
  • Covid-19 makes physical escalation harder: no cap, this really bugged me off. I didn't know if I could hug her to say hi, or wave her from afar. This also makes for really smooth excuses for girls to stop the physical escalation: don't overinterpret it but stay cautious about it.

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Inner game:

  • Curb your expectations: this one has already been discussed a lot of times here, but I really understood it today. I was already making films in my head about how this date would turn out. Not doing this would have saved me a bit a dissappointment, and would have been more spontaneous. Don't get me wrong: you should go with the intention of closing, not the expectation of closing. Again, never take anything for granted. Instead of thinking you are going on a sexy romantic DATE, think that you are just going to spend a good afternoon with a girl, and maybe try to close.
  • Rejection is nothing: this was an unexpected discovery for me: I actually didn't feel wronged, humiliated or anxious after being rejected. Sure I was a bit disappointed by the thought that we would not go further, but I chose not to be sad or angry about it. I texted the girl I had a good time anyway. And guess what? I actually had a good time!!! Fr, we had some good conversations, a lot of fun and a good afternoon overall, and I do not regret anything I did.
  • Always see the bright side: This is going to sound corny but it is actually very important. Okay, you did not end up as the girl's boyfriend because of her or circumstances, but you sure was enough for her to have fun, to give you attention, to have some good conversations etc!!! Overall I'd really say I actually came out empowered by this experience. Things do not always work out as planned and guess what? That's way more fun! Right now I feel so alive, well, free and confident! I got to come out of my shell and learn a lot of things

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So go ahead kings! Try, fail, succeed or whatever but go for it! You may even get to learn enough to make AMAZING POSTS SUCH AS THIS ONE !!!!!

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Anyway, I love y'all take care of yourself, I'm now going to drink myself to sleep watch a good movie because life's good!!!