Here are some reflections on learning about seduction and game late in life. For what it's worth, I'm middle aged and married.

Game wasn't around in it's present form when I was younger. I wish I could go back in time knowing what I know now about women and about life. We don't get do overs. I grew up with nothing to deflect the cultural paradigm of being a good beta provider and nice guy to attract women. I remember an older friend giving advice once, essentially that success with women was about approaching frequently, essentially a numbers game. I also remember reading an article in a zine called "You Pay for Every Piece You Get" which was probably my first introduction to the idea that sexual relationships were transactional. Fast forward to reading blogs, and stumbling across the now defunct 2blowhards and from there getting introduced to Roissy's writing back in 2007. After that, I read everything I could get my hands on and came to realize where I had gone wrong in the past.

Here are my thoughts on seduction, and what I would do if I was a younger man starting out.

tl;dr Attraction = aesthetics + extraversion + game

Many aspects of attraction are determined biologically and genetically and some can be modified to various extents. Game can be learned. Both the mechanics of pick up and the mindset of inner game have value.

In general, you don't need to strive for perfection. Making a decent effort can put you above the vast majority of men in terms of sexual market value.

Aesthetics

Your fundamental looks can't be changed. Some people are better looking than others. This encompasses height and how your face appears and a myriad of other factors. You can modify some, but not others.

Lean and athletic

You can modify your weight to a large extent, and your muscularity to a variable extent, and you should do so. Women, with exceptions, care about you being not fat more than they care about your muscularity. While the frequent advice to lift weights is correct, really it should be to exercise, be active, play sports, do resistance training, do cardio. If you're overweight, reduce calories. You are far better off looking lean and athletic than chubby and strong, from a seduction point of view. You will also look better in clothing, and clothes will fit better.

All else being equal, women prefer tall, athletic men who have facial symmetry and are otherwise attractive. Accept what you can't change and work on the rest.

Dressing well enough and having a nice enough car and house

This will vary depending on your age and the type of women you're targeting. Young women, actually women in general, won't respect you for being frugal or sensible. They also care a lot about appearances. You must dress as well as you can. The actual advice will vary based on your age and situation. If you are lean and exercise, you will look better in clothing. Wear outfits that are clean and fit well, but also demonstrate that you pay attention to style and social cues. The brand of your watch, your jeans, or even your car doesn't matter to most women. You should have a clean and decent looking car and a well decorated house or apartment. You can get away with roommates only in college or immediately post.

Extraversion

Personality traits are largely determined. Think OCEAN traits, the big five personality traits. Women, all else being equal, want to be entertained. They are both emotional and social creatures, which men have difficulty understanding since we relate to the world differently. Women prefer men with higher social status, which a man can convey by being confident and outgoing. I'm an introvert and while I have learned how to fake it, it isn't something I have been able to fully overcome.

The PUAs formulated routines to mimic and enhance extraversion. I think canned routines have their place, especially if you are younger and meeting women at parties or college bars. For older men, learning to carry a conversation works best. Probably the best advice that can be immediately put to use is to not interview women as a means to hold a conversation. Eventually it is important to learn to entertain women with conversation and how to keep it going and keep it fun and light.

Game

If you are attractive, dress well, and have learned to be outgoing, you have the setup to do well with women, but success ultimately requires game. Game requires understanding the nature of women and behaving in a way that is attractive and conveys high social status. While some don't care for them, I like the widely used terms alpha and beta to convey masculine, attractive behavior as opposed to behavior informed by the prevailing feminine narrative. The overall package you present will determine your SMV and your success with women.

Learning mindset and inner game matters as much as learning openers, routines and old school mechanical game. To me, the quality of your approaches matters more than the quantity. If you live in a large city and either go out to nightclubs or daygame, or if you go to college parties with lots of students, you can practice quantity. If you travel in a smaller social circle, like most post-college adults, going for quality is probably a better choice.

What changes in your 40s

  • Sex drive goes down somewhat
  • Younger women (20s) are still physically attractive, but not very interesting socially or culturally
  • Women my age and below (30s-40s) who keep trim and fit seem more attractive than they used to, and are more interesting than younger women
  • Men get less attractive with age, the male wall is real but less harsh than the female wall
  • Many married women are interested in being approached
  • Tattoos and piercings are boner killers, even when viewing porn

The idea of the older bachelor player slaying 20-30 year old pussy into his 50s and 60s is ridiculous. There is no doubt that this can happen for certain men with extremely high SMV. For the average game aware man who takes care of himself, this strategy will probably lead to disappointment eventually.

Cultural trends

  • Women seem to be getting fatter and less feminine every year
  • Women seem to be getting more narcissistic every year (e.g. the rise and fall of Tinder)
  • At the same time their expectations have become increasingly unrealistic (low SMV women searching for high SMV males)
  • There are still quality women around, although they are not always easy to find. I would consider looking both outside and within the US if you are interested in a traditional woman.
  • To me the best endgame is a wife and kids, but being cuckolded and taken advantage of financially by a divorce system that strongly favors women is a real risk