Love and in love?

norwegiandoggo · 2025-08-24T18:51:06+00:00

This is called the switch from "passionate love" to "compionate love".

If they haven't learned about this switch that happens to nearly all long-term relationships, they will misinterpret what's happening as a negative thing and break up. Then they will chase passionate love with the next person, until it declines, then break up again and so on and so forth. Always chasing the high of a new love, and never being okay with companionate love.

It's very important that people understand that it's normal and healthy for passionate early love (the one that makes you feel high) to fade, and if you continue to invest in the relationship it will typically be replaced with more of a familiar-family type love we call companionate love. That's a normal and healthy progression.

some_kind_of_friend · 2025-08-24T19:06:14+00:00

Relationships aren't a goal to be achieved and then you just, relax. If anything, longer term relationships are harder than short term because you need to keep up the momentum. It requires real effort, and constant creativity. Typically, when a partner says "I love you but I'm not in-love with you," this is what they mean. The things you did at the beginning of the relationship, is what made him or her fall for you. Slowly, complacency took root, and this attention waned. It makes sense, right? You got the relationship, so why put forth MORE effort? But this is the demise of virtually ALL relationships.

Sometimes withdrawal can reignite a relationship, but this often isn't the case. Sometimes showing them the you (and the things you did to win him/her in the first place) can reignite it... reminding them of who you are can get them to fall back in love with you.

Often though, the veil has been pulled from their eyes. They see you as greedy, or manipulative and that's a nearly impossible state to overcome.

You're well outside the wheelhouse of 98% of this subs participants. Seduction (going to a bar and getting laid) ≠ Seduction (keeping a long term partner's interest high enough to sustain.)

What's your situation?

Title	Love and in love?
Author	Charming_Win6710
Upvotes	2
Comments	3
Date	August 24, 2025 6:40 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1mz3oxl/love_and_in_love/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/love-and-in-love.1560369 https://theredarchive.com/post/1560369

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