Hey Seddit,

I wanted to start a discussion on when we feel it's worth it to keep pursuing a girl once you get the number. I say this keeping the following elements in mind: coming off as needy, coming off as insecure, coming off as a player, various other impressions.

Now, there's been plenty of times in the past I'll text a girl to make plans. Seeing texting as only a means to an end, I'll only use that medium of communication to schedule the next meetup. But here's the thing, when she says no, there are often two different types of no.

Me: Hey let's grab some lunch tomorrow! Her: I'm actually going to be out of town :/

or

Me: Hey let's grab some lunch tomorrow! Her: I'll actually be out of town tomorrow, how about later this week?

The obvious main difference is that girl #2 seems way more interested to meet up than girl #1. And your response to girl #1 will show her your neediness if you reply the wrong way. I would like to know your guys' favorite response to girl #1.

ALSO, to avoid that response altogether: what I usually do is phrase my statement/question this way.

Me: Hey we should grab some lunch, what's your schedule like this week?

This way I give her the option to pick the day and if she picks a date I am busy I have the chance to tell her IM busy which adds value to my time and attention in her eyes. Also I think you paint with a broader brush in asking this way. Meaning that asking with the first method leaves it up to you to ask if another day works (if she says shes busy) but asking the second way is like asking 7 times at once. And if she says no to a weeks worth of open slots, she's obviously not interested and we should move along.

Just a thought.