This is a success story.

I was hanging out with my girlfriend today and I realized something.

When I started learning to get girls, I was a typical 18 year old guy. Did everything I could to get better at it. Thought about it daily. Struggled with anxiety and nervousness trying to go up and say hi. Be nervous the whole time, even when I succeeded at getting a number. Proceed to really really overthink each text message. Analyze. Deliberately wait to reply, hope to get a one night stand set up or a date where I (insincerely) get to know the girl. Add twenty girls to my "high score" over a few years.

Fast forward. I am 28. And I realized...

I might feel a pang of nervousness and the fear of rejection slightly, just ever so slightly, but it's a gentle breeze instead of a roaring tide.

I still give the seeking of sex and female attention too much of my own attention. It's true. Gotta find something better to do.

But the way I do it? Totally different.

I enjoy it.

I send dumbass comments to entertain myself and find out within 2-3 messages if she can laugh at something I wrote -- even when the joke is made at her expense. (This is a good sign, I want to hang out with that girl.) The ones who bore me I eventually stop messaging. Gotta be 8/10 for me to pursue when someone is below my "nonsexual interest" threshold. basically: "are they entertaining me? Are we getting along well?" And if the messages are dull or she stops replying, then apparently the answers are no -- I'm glad I found out, so I can move onto something better.

The dates I do score, I just throw some casual clothes on and go. Takes <8 texts after the initial number to establish logistics. "Cool, see ya then." They show up and I proceed to enjoy myself as best I can. The ones who don't enable me to do that failed, and I know they failed (which is fine, we just met) because other girls entertain me lightly. It's easy. I actually can't not have a good time around the girls I'm into.

I don't stress about whether what I said was cool or sounded funny. A lot of my jokes fall flat in fact because I suffer from "permanent joke mode" a lot of the time. I want to change it just because I personally don't like being stuck in it. Whatever happens, it's okay, so long as I remember to avoid the girls my instincts tell me will be a Bad Date beforehand. (I still sucker myself into thinking I have to take every date, gotta learn to ignore the lowest of the low quality ones.)

By the way, if you're wondering, "Are they 9s or 10s?" The answer is no and I actually don't mind much.

I worked around hot girls for a year or so (nightclub) and while they are hotter I actually...

I actually don't feel so lusty after dimes anymore! Weird, am I gay?

Jokes aside it's a really useful set of changes. I hope y'all who are just starting read this and feel a space inside of you that you'd like to occupy one day:

"I went on a date with a pretty girl and it went well. I was satisfied."

"I asked for a number and got a fake. I was a little disappointed because she seemed like a good match. Forgot about it a few days later."

"I got rejected by about a hundred approaches this past month and I'm still going. It's fun."

I just don't care about the experience anymore. I appreciate the girl I have and she is enough.

It's a wonderful change.