Pickup and seduction tries to teach men that there is a road map to love and affection. That, like a solution to a problem, it can be simplified down to a core set of ideas. You’ll learn this technique or have this breakthrough and then you will finally find what you are looking for, a deep fulfilling relationship.

There is no road map; there is no solution to all of these problems. Love is uncertain; it comes from two people being vulnerable in an entirely unique and new situation. Every relationship you have will be unique and new, the road map you seek is constantly changing and evolving, it’s never the same configuration and it will be a new configuration every time. If you try to predict it before hand to gain some kind of leverage, you will always be one step behind and those relationships you seek will escape you.

Attraction isn’t about how you look; it’s about how you navigate this truth. It’s about accepting that you don’t really know what the perfect way to do this is but you expose yourself and be vulnerable anyway. It’s about throwing that road map out the window and doing whatever naturally comes to mind as an expression of your authentic self. You reach out, take her hand, as you guys are sharing this moment of vulnerability, she shows some vulnerability too, leans in and rests her head on your shoulder. You are sharing yourself by exposing yourself through your words and actions. You are communicating how you feel towards her by opening up and being honest. There is no technique that will achieve the same honest communication other than vulnerably exposing what you are feeling in that moment. It’s the long walks I took with women where I just shared myself that went the best, we would be walking along, bumping into each other as we shared stories, feelings, belief’s. She’d hook herself around my arm and rest her head on my shoulder and I’d wonder if I had just walked into a rom-com with how perfect this was. If I was concerned with all this pickup and seduction nonsense, I’d have never had those kinds of moments. This is how you actually become attractive to women; this is what she actually wants. She wants to know who you really are, she wants you to expose your authentic self and she wants you to be vulnerable when you are with her. Out there when you are hustling to succeed, you can hide that side of things but when you are with your woman, you are open and vulnerable.

You are vulnerable because there is a chance she can pull away and say no. It’s through taking actions that have the possibility of failure that we can communicate who we truly are and how we truly feel. You are communicating through your words and actions that this is who you truly are and this is how you truly feel, due to the possibility of rejection and failure. You aren’t going to do something that has a high risk of failure involved unless you are sure it’s something you want to do.

She’ll start opening up as you open up to her. Women are like mirrors, they reflect what you are putting out, so if you are being authentic and honest then she will start doing the same and things will become more intimate. This is where foreplay begins; it starts from when you open your mouth right up until you have sex. She should be thinking, wow, I’ve never said this to any other guy before.

This is how you get women to fall in love with you and not just be attracted to you. You won’t need to worry about making plans because any plan will work for her; you’ll wake up to texts from her. She’ll initiate on making plans with you and if you end up in bed, she’ll stay over for a week instead of a day. There are very few guys in her life who are going to be making her feel this way.