Hi, I'm Reznik.

First things first, I'm not from english speaking countries, so I'd like to apologise for my english. That's the reason of some grammar issues or bad syntax.

I decided to write a topic here on Reddit to practice my english, to get better in writing and to share my experience with you, so please have patience with me.

If you don't like to read about who I am, please skip to the part First Step

Introduction

It's about a week ago when I started to read Reddit. I was lookimg for some unusual sex practise, because I have a gf and we wanted to try some new stuff. As I was browsing thru topics, I ended up here on Seddit. I wasnt the primary target of my search, but I found some very interesting sories here eg. from isthistomorrow - his field reports. I've read his articles and I was like "Dude for real?". I was charmed by his stories about his self-development through approaching women. I wanted to try it too.

I consider myself like an average looking (guess so 6,5-7) boy/man with healthy self-confidence. But it wasn't always like that. My confidence started to grow about 2,5-3 years ago. I was in relationship with a girl (now my exgf) who totally manipulated me. At the most of the relationship I didnt realised it. I was going to high school and I cared just about her and break dancing (later I'll be probably using the synonym bboying). We've been dating for 2 years - since my 18 till my early 21. When I was 19, I gradueted from high school and choose to study aplied psychology (for those who want to know what it means it's like studing HR combined with management skills). At this time my ex cheated on me again. I wrote “again” on purpose. At the begining of the relationship she cheated on me twice, but I was so silly and deciced to forgive her. But it happened again. It took me some time to find it out and at this point, when I knew theres something wrong, my confidence started to grow. Well we broke up and it was painfull. I was talking through this with a friend on mine, who's ugly as hell btw, and we've agreed that women are manipulating with everyone of us guys. This was the “Aha” moment when I realised that if I want to prevent this in the future I have to understand it. I've read a lot about manipulations but unfortunately most of it was useless. There are only a few really educating books about it. I asked my teachers about it too but the most important thing, which gave me most of my knowledge about manipulation was just to watch my surroundings (I'm not sure if it's the right word for it, hope you understand it). I had some basis from the book but rationalising what happening around me, how other people affects me and how I affects them, gave me the real valuable view. I don't say that I'm a pro in manipulating people, but I have better communicating skills now then I had before.

I understand now how the verbal, nonverbal and paraverbal communication works in theory and the teached me how to look confidentely at least.

Well why do I need practise the seduction? If I had a long relationship and I'm in another now? It's quite easy to understand.

• The first reason is that I know this relationship won't last forever.

• The second reason is, that I really enjoy people talking to me, I'm a great listener. You can get tons of information you did know nothing about in minutes. (I've heard a quote which fits here perfectly: “If you want to know people, shut up. People tell.” Unfortunately I dont know who said it.)

• And the third reason is I really suck at approaching. I have a huge problem to start a convo with someone I dont know.

So I decided to take it backwards. First I'll learn to lead a conversation. If I'd learn how to approach someone but didn't know how to continue with the convo, what would it be good for?

So heres the step one I've taken.

First step

There is a nice looking girl (I'd say a 7 - great body, average face but she's acting like a boy little bit. Otherwise she would be an 8) at the student hostel where I'm living when I'm at school. We used to chit-chat sometimes but I don't consider that for a conversation. Today, after dinner, I just asked her about her meal, she cooked it by herself. She started talk about how she had prepared it and so on. I asked some “small” questions like “Why this type of meat?” or “for how long did you cooked it?”. After a while I started to be bored talking about food, so i said “Could I ask you something?” she went “Sure”. I told her about a project I'm working on at school. It's about the influence of porn and romantic movies on relationships. “Do you like porn?” Well it wasn't the luckiest question to ask, or I asked the worng way. She looked shy about the answer. I tried to ask less agresive: “Uh, I meant my co-worker (she's woman too) told me, while discussing the project, she watches porn every day. Do you watch porn too some times?” Now she looked more relaxed. “Of course I do. You don't?” “Yes I watch porn, But I'm a male, so it's different.” We talked a porn for a while, then our convo started to take the direction to relationships topic, which is pretty personal. So if I understood it right, she was enjoying our convo, when she opened up to talk about her bf. Of course I had to tell her something about my relationship too, otherwise she would quit the convo as one-sided. I did't noticed that the conversation changed the subject to families. And we went on and on.

We've had a nice flowing conversation with pretty personal subjects at the end of the evening. I think I was because I wasn'ta complete stranger and that we're pretty much the same personalities. Well but I think it was a great first step to learn the magic of conversation. Next time, I'll try to talk to someone less known and go on this direction untill I get to the point where I'll feel ready to approach a random girl without fear of the awkward silence we all know so good ;)

Please feel free to leave a comment, I'd be really pleased if you tell me your opinion, doesn't matter if positive or negative. Would you like if the story continues with another part?

Reznik