Hey Seddit,

So I have finished reading both Models by Mark Manson and Atomic Habits by James Clear and I am excited to start my Journey. It's really interesting how there is a lot of overlap in terms of habit-forming and the idea of making the habits small and easy so that you stick with them in the long term. A lot of what was stopping me was that I would have to complex a goal and would often sike myself out.

My Current Plan:

  • Approach at least one person (preferable female) and ask a simple question "What's the time?" or "Where is X?"
    • My target is to do this 5 times.
  • Once I have gotten used to this I then add open-ended question such as "How is your day?"
    • Again work up to doing this 5 times
  • Keep expanding until you get to full-blown approaches and focusing on a different aspect of the approach with each level up

Day One:

I have been developing the habit of going for a 30 mins walks in the evening and deiced to stack this habit on that. Today I went later than usual (usually go just before sunset) so it was dark outside and I started telling myself that its too dark and that you are going to be considered creepy etc. and essentially projecting my insecurities on people. Spent the first 20 mins of the walking missing perfect opportunities and siking my self out in asking about "What time is it?".

TANGENT: To be fair though as it was dark and my area isn't the safest its a bit sus to ask the time as its at times used so the person gets out their phone and then the person asking takes it and I had the fear that that is how I would be perceived.

Besides this fact, I just had to ask the time and I found it so strange how challenging I found this. It was interesting the BS I would tell myself and how I kept projecting the idea of myself being "creepy" but I was just asking the damn time!. I remembered the quote from models "There’s no such thing as a guy who’s good with women who isn’t sometimes creepy.". When first hearing this it made my cringe but it essentially means there is no way you can fully control how you are perceived.

I ended up telling my self I just need to ask the first person that comes by the time which ended being some random guy and was very awkward. Realised that may be asking the time was not the best idea for the reason stated above so decide to instead ask for directions. After realising it wasn't a big deal I then went up to I woman at a bus stop and asked where a particular supermarket was. As she was wearing a mask and had her hood up I could not tell her age I think she was an oldish lady. Again this was awkward but likely me projecting the awkwardness of the situation.

Throughout the walk, I made sure to make eye contact with people and not breaking eye contact first. Overall I know I have a long way to improve but I completed what I set out today. Something I might try is first to approach the first person I see no matter gender to warm up and the approach. Approach when there is actually daylight and also do approaches on campus at uni so that I am talking to people in my demographic.

TLDR; Decide to make a habit of approaching. Approached some random guy and asked the time to stop siking myself out then approached an oldish lady and asked for directions.