Need help changing my perception

SiXXEros · 2014-10-30T15:21:20+00:00

Your reputation is only at stake if you give a shit what people have to say. Focusing on the what if, hypothetical, bullshit is a waste of time. No one cares about you or how many women you walk up to talk to. Period. Now, if you walk up every time with the intention of simply getting a number of trying to bang the girl.. And you fail often... Then yes you may "feel" like you have a bad rep. It doesn't matter though because unless you are a serious creep or asshole these women won't even remember or care about you. The worst thing that happens is that they tell their girlfriends "another guy hit on me today; as unimportant as the other dozen."

Now that that's out the way... Here's how you change your perspective.

"Seek the Truth"

Change your inner monologue to one of truth seeking. See hot woman. Want to know what hot woman is like. Walk up to hot woman. "Hey. Digging the style. What you getting into today?"

Use your conversation skills and act as the "buyer." if you don't vibe or have some commonalities, cool, whatever. Now you know the truth. If you do vibe, even better. Seek the truth and pursue through each step. She can conversate? Check. She can make out? Check. She can give great head? Check. You get the picture.

Let the boys curiosity lead you into situations. Be a man and own the situation once you're in it.

Transcend_Yourself_ · 2014-10-30T17:17:56+00:00

I've been there man, and it's a tough position to be in.

The truth is, if you're going after what you want regardless of what others think of you, there will be girls that will find you creepy. And there will be girls that will reject you. It happens to every guy that gets into this stuff. And not just at the beginning, but through their whole dating lives.

And guess what? It's a good thing. Rejection acts as a natural filter for your dating life. If you walk up to a girl, tell her that you think she's cute and you wanted to meet her, and she doesn't want to reciprocate that, nature has just let you know you are not right for each other and you should move on.

It's actually awesome once you learn to appreciate it, because even if you did get together (for one night or in a serious relationship), odds are it will be an awful night of sex or an awful relationship.

The more you see rejection this way, the less if will affect your mindset.

As the previous commentor noted, try changing your thoughts from "What can I do to get this girl to like me? to "What does this girl have that I like?" or "What can this girl do to do get me to like her?"

Have values for your dating life that you want to uphold. This should turn that perception right around, give you a higher value mentality for yourself, AND you will end up in healthier, happier relationships.

Good luck man. It's a tough journey, and one that I am still navigating, but it is so damn fun.

RedEyeFan · 2014-10-30T20:27:10+00:00

You must never sacrifice your own interests to appease other people. Ever. You control your own life, so go out there and do what you need to do to be a successful and happy person.

Honestly this reputation stuff is BS. Everyone is so caught up in their own little world these days, it's pointless to worry about that shit.

More importantly, anything that hinders you from your goals is to be eliminated. Fear, anxiety, whatever. Just end it. Move forward, and don't worry so much about mundane shit.

jazz4 · 2014-10-30T23:36:35+00:00

You'll find a greater sense of yourself the more you're exposed to social interactions. I know exactly what you mean and can relate to you, but the more you socialize, the easier is to get out of your own head and just be you. Talking to girls is no different. There is a need, particularly in this sub, to over-analyse the simplest of interactions, but just being genuine is more important.

Being comfortable in your own skin comes along when talking to people is no longer seen as a chore. Just try to remember that maybe you're thinking too much. Insecurites are loud, confidence is silent.

Title	Need help changing my perception
Author	nba_james0
Upvotes	11
Comments	5
Date	October 30, 2014 2:14 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2ks6tv/need_help_changing_my_perception/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-help-changing-my-perception.1378816 https://theredarchive.com/post/1378816

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